Author Topic: My review of Vagabond.  (Read 1952 times)

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smoke

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My review of Vagabond.
« on: August 21, 2009, 07:27:28 AM »
It sucks. Here's my summary:

A Japanese advertising executive, Musashi, is mistaken for a government agent named Mothra. He is kidnapped by Aquaman and The Crypt Keeper and taken to the house of John Travolta, on Long Island. There he is interrogated by a man he assumes to be Travolta, but who is really Vegeta. When Musashi repeatedly denies he is Mothra, Vegeta becomes annoyed and orders his right-hand man, Matthew, the Autistic Lion, to get rid of him.

Aquaman and The Crypt Keeper try to stage a fatal car accident, but Musashi, after a chase on a perilous road, gets himself apprehended and charged with drunk driving. He is unable to get the police, the judge, or his mother to believe what happened to him, especially when a woman posing as Travolta's wife informs them that Travolta is a United Nations diplomat.

Musashi and his mother go to Mothra’s hotel room. Narrowly avoiding recapture by Aquaman and The Crypt Keeper, Musashi catches a taxi to the General Assembly building of the UN, where Travolta is due to deliver a speech. When he meets Travolta, Musashi is surprised to find that he is not the man who interrogated him. When Musashi questions him, Travolta states that he stays in Manhattan when the UN is in session, and that his wife is dead. At that moment, Aquaman throws a knife that strikes Travolta in the back. He falls forward, dead, into Musashi's arms. Unthinkingly, Musashi removes the knife, making it appear that he is the killer. A passing photographer captures the scene, forcing him to flee.
Musashi on the run, attempting to travel incognito.

Musashi, knowing that Mothra has a reservation at a Chicago hotel the next day, goes to Grand Central Terminal and sneaks onto the 20th Century Limited train. On board, he meets Eve Kendall (Eva Marie Saint), who helps Musashi evade policemen searching the train for him by hiding him twice: once in the overhead, fold-up bunk in her compartment. She asks about his personalized matchbooks with the initials ROT; he says the O stands for nothing. Unbeknownst to Musashi, Eve notifies Vegeta and Matthew, the Autistic Lion, who are in another compartment.

Arriving at Chicago's LaSalle Street Station, Musashi borrows the uniform of one of the porters and carries Eve's luggage through the crowd. Although the police are alerted to his disguise, the sheer number of porters saves Musashi. Meanwhile, Eve (who is Vegeta's lover) lies to Musashi, telling him she has arranged a meeting with Mothra.

In an iconic sequence, Musashi travels by bus to meet Mothra at an isolated crossroads in the middle of the perfectly flat, open Indiana countryside. The only other person in sight is a man who is dropped off and waits at the opposite bus stop. Before boarding the next bus, he notes that a plane is "dusting crops where there ain't no crops." Without warning, the plane flies towards Musashi and starts shooting at him. He is chased through a cornfield and dusted with pesticide. Finally, Musashi steps in front of an oncoming gasoline tank truck, which stops barely in time. The plane crashes into it and explodes. When passing drivers stop to see what is going on, Musashi steals a pickup truck and flees.

Musashi goes to Mothra's hotel, but is surprised to learn that Mothra had already checked out when Eve claimed to have spoken to him. Musashi spots Eve in the lobby. He goes to her room, but she tells him to stay away from her. She allows him to stay and use the shower as she leaves. Using a pencil to reveal the indentations of a message on a notepad, Musashi learns her destination: an art auction.

There, he comes face to face once more with Vegeta. Vegeta purchases a pre-Columbian Tarascan statue. Musashi tries to leave, only to find all exits covered by Vegeta's men. Thinking quickly, he starts placing nonsensical bids, so the police have to be called to remove him. Musashi identifies himself as a wanted fugitive, but the officers are ordered to take him to Midway Airport (where a gate for Northwest Airlines is seen, playing on the film's title).

Musashi meets the Professor, a spymaster who is trying to stop Vegeta from smuggling microfilmed secrets out of the country. The Professor reveals that George Mothra is a fiction created to distract Vegeta from the real government agent—Eve, whose life is now in danger because of Musashi. In order to protect her, Musashi agrees to help the Professor and his agency fool Vegeta.

In the cafeteria at the base of Mount Rushmore, Musashi (now pretending to be Mothra) meets with Eve and Vegeta. He offers to allow Vegeta to leave the country unhindered in exchange for Eve. The deal is refused. In a staged struggle, Eve shoots Musashi and flees. Vegeta and Matthew, the Autistic Lion hastily depart, as the apparently critically wounded Musashi is taken away. When the makeshift ambulance reaches a secluded spot, Musashi emerges unharmed to speak privately with Eve and the professor. He becomes highly agitated when he learns that she is using the "shooting" to get Vegeta to take her with him, so that she can gather further intelligence. To keep him from interfering, Musashi is taken captive and put a locked hospital room, but he escapes through a window.

Musashi arrives at Vegeta’s mountainside home, scales the outside of the building, and slips in undetected. He learns that the microfilm is in the Tarascan statue, then watches as Matthew, the Autistic Lion convinces Vegeta that Eve is a government agent and the shooting was faked by firing the gun Eve used (filled with blanks) at him. Vegeta decides to throw Eve out of the plane once they are airborne. Musashi manages to warn her by writing a note inside one of his distinctive matchbooks and dropping it where she will see it.

Just before she boards the plane, Eve escapes with the statue and joins Musashi. Matthew, the Autistic Lion and Aquaman chase them across Mount Rushmore; in a struggle, Musashi throws Aquaman off Mount Rushmore and he falls to his death. When Eve slips and clings desperately to the mountainside, Musashi grabs one of her hands, while precariously steadying himself with his other hand. Matthew, the Autistic Lion arrives and begins grinding his shoe on Musashi's hand. They are saved by the timely arrival of the Professor and a police marksman, who kills Matthew, the Autistic Lion-who also falls to his doom. The statue breaks open and Vegeta is taken into custody.

The film cuts smoothly from Musashi pulling Eve to safety on Mount Rushmore to him pulling her into an overhead train bunk, where they are spending their honeymoon. The final shot shows their train speeding into a tunnel.

smoke

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Re: My review of Vagabond.
« Reply #1 on: August 21, 2009, 07:31:46 AM »
See, it's funny because....

Offline Griffith

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Re: My review of Vagabond.
« Reply #2 on: August 21, 2009, 07:45:31 AM »
Welcome to the Vagabond Inn!

It sucks. Here's my summary:

A Japanese advertising executive, Musashi, is mistaken for a government agent named Mothra. He is kidnapped by Aquaman and The Crypt Keeper and taken to the house of John Travolta, on Long Island. There he is interrogated by a man he assumes to be Travolta, but who is really Vegeta. When Musashi repeatedly denies he is Mothra, Vegeta becomes annoyed and orders his right-hand man, Matthew, the Autistic Lion, to get rid of him.

Aquaman and The Crypt Keeper try to stage a fatal car accident, but Musashi, after a chase on a perilous road, gets himself apprehended and charged with drunk driving. He is unable to get the police, the judge, or his mother to believe what happened to him, especially when a woman posing as Travolta's wife informs them that Travolta is a United Nations diplomat.

Musashi and his mother go to Mothra’s hotel room. Narrowly avoiding recapture by Aquaman and The Crypt Keeper, Musashi catches a taxi to the General Assembly building of the UN, where Travolta is due to deliver a speech. When he meets Travolta, Musashi is surprised to find that he is not the man who interrogated him. When Musashi questions him, Travolta states that he stays in Manhattan when the UN is in session, and that his wife is dead. At that moment, Aquaman throws a knife that strikes Travolta in the back. He falls forward, dead, into Musashi's arms. Unthinkingly, Musashi removes the knife, making it appear that he is the killer. A passing photographer captures the scene, forcing him to flee.
Musashi on the run, attempting to travel incognito.

Musashi, knowing that Mothra has a reservation at a Chicago hotel the next day, goes to Grand Central Terminal and sneaks onto the 20th Century Limited train. On board, he meets Eve Kendall (Eva Marie Saint), who helps Musashi evade policemen searching the train for him by hiding him twice: once in the overhead, fold-up bunk in her compartment. She asks about his personalized matchbooks with the initials ROT; he says the O stands for nothing. Unbeknownst to Musashi, Eve notifies Vegeta and Matthew, the Autistic Lion, who are in another compartment.

Arriving at Chicago's LaSalle Street Station, Musashi borrows the uniform of one of the porters and carries Eve's luggage through the crowd. Although the police are alerted to his disguise, the sheer number of porters saves Musashi. Meanwhile, Eve (who is Vegeta's lover) lies to Musashi, telling him she has arranged a meeting with Mothra.

In an iconic sequence, Musashi travels by bus to meet Mothra at an isolated crossroads in the middle of the perfectly flat, open Indiana countryside. The only other person in sight is a man who is dropped off and waits at the opposite bus stop. Before boarding the next bus, he notes that a plane is "dusting crops where there ain't no crops." Without warning, the plane flies towards Musashi and starts shooting at him. He is chased through a cornfield and dusted with pesticide. Finally, Musashi steps in front of an oncoming gasoline tank truck, which stops barely in time. The plane crashes into it and explodes. When passing drivers stop to see what is going on, Musashi steals a pickup truck and flees.

Musashi goes to Mothra's hotel, but is surprised to learn that Mothra had already checked out when Eve claimed to have spoken to him. Musashi spots Eve in the lobby. He goes to her room, but she tells him to stay away from her. She allows him to stay and use the shower as she leaves. Using a pencil to reveal the indentations of a message on a notepad, Musashi learns her destination: an art auction.

There, he comes face to face once more with Vegeta. Vegeta purchases a pre-Columbian Tarascan statue. Musashi tries to leave, only to find all exits covered by Vegeta's men. Thinking quickly, he starts placing nonsensical bids, so the police have to be called to remove him. Musashi identifies himself as a wanted fugitive, but the officers are ordered to take him to Midway Airport (where a gate for Northwest Airlines is seen, playing on the film's title).

Musashi meets the Professor, a spymaster who is trying to stop Vegeta from smuggling microfilmed secrets out of the country. The Professor reveals that George Mothra is a fiction created to distract Vegeta from the real government agent—Eve, whose life is now in danger because of Musashi. In order to protect her, Musashi agrees to help the Professor and his agency fool Vegeta.

In the cafeteria at the base of Mount Rushmore, Musashi (now pretending to be Mothra) meets with Eve and Vegeta. He offers to allow Vegeta to leave the country unhindered in exchange for Eve. The deal is refused. In a staged struggle, Eve shoots Musashi and flees. Vegeta and Matthew, the Autistic Lion hastily depart, as the apparently critically wounded Musashi is taken away. When the makeshift ambulance reaches a secluded spot, Musashi emerges unharmed to speak privately with Eve and the professor. He becomes highly agitated when he learns that she is using the "shooting" to get Vegeta to take her with him, so that she can gather further intelligence. To keep him from interfering, Musashi is taken captive and put a locked hospital room, but he escapes through a window.

Musashi arrives at Vegeta’s mountainside home, scales the outside of the building, and slips in undetected. He learns that the microfilm is in the Tarascan statue, then watches as Matthew, the Autistic Lion convinces Vegeta that Eve is a government agent and the shooting was faked by firing the gun Eve used (filled with blanks) at him. Vegeta decides to throw Eve out of the plane once they are airborne. Musashi manages to warn her by writing a note inside one of his distinctive matchbooks and dropping it where she will see it.

Just before she boards the plane, Eve escapes with the statue and joins Musashi. Matthew, the Autistic Lion and Aquaman chase them across Mount Rushmore; in a struggle, Musashi throws Aquaman off Mount Rushmore and he falls to his death. When Eve slips and clings desperately to the mountainside, Musashi grabs one of her hands, while precariously steadying himself with his other hand. Matthew, the Autistic Lion arrives and begins grinding his shoe on Musashi's hand. They are saved by the timely arrival of the Professor and a police marksman, who kills Matthew, the Autistic Lion-who also falls to his doom. The statue breaks open and Vegeta is taken into custody.

The film cuts smoothly from Musashi pulling Eve to safety on Mount Rushmore to him pulling her into an overhead train bunk, where they are spending their honeymoon. The final shot shows their train speeding into a tunnel.

Remember spoiler tags in the future, I've added them for you this time.

See, it's funny because....

 :???:

Offline slan69

Re: My review of Vagabond.
« Reply #3 on: August 21, 2009, 08:30:56 AM »
See, it's funny because....

Okay why is it funny, also what was the point of this exactly?  :mushihuh:
Quote -

Love, hate, pain, pleasure, life, death. Everything is there… This is human... This is demonic!

~Slan~

Offline TheBranded1

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Re: My review of Vagabond.
« Reply #4 on: August 21, 2009, 05:29:12 PM »
There's no way Musashi was drunk driving. He can't stand his liquor. :ganishka:

Offline Griffith

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Re: My review of Vagabond.
« Reply #5 on: August 21, 2009, 09:52:32 PM »
Haha, good point, Branded! :mushilaugh: