NightCrawler
Aeons gone, vast, mad and deathless
Posting on the DKR thread just now made me want to do this.
- Dumb faked death: Weyland's is even more wacky than Batman's. You could at least argue Batman is nuts and didn't let his friends in on it just to fuck with them.
- Dumb technology: Male only surgical machines, sentient holograms, egg controls, etc. vs. Countdown Timers, ID erasers, Wall Street transaction approval process, etc. Man, they're both rough. It's a tie, but not a big deal because they're just movies. If they were better movies you wouldn't care.
- Dumb Henchmen: Bane trains them for years to follow him to the death vs. Weyland's wacky crew is thrown together seemingly by who's facebook profile made him giggle. Batman wins this round even though Bane's henchmen really should have handled the cops and/or shot Catwoman in the neck.
- Dumb Love Scene: Bruce gets some while he's down on his luck by an oddly horny for broken down old men evil temptress taking time out from destroying the city vs. "It's easy to make life", "I can't, jerk", "I'm sorry", "Tee-hee, It's okay. Let's fuck!". Batman seems slightly more plausible.
- Dumb Bad Guy Death: Bane gets taken out by Catwoman vs. Charlize squished by a rolling donut. Batman turns left and wins.
- Dumb Dramatic Ship Explosion: See Batman's faked death in the sunset vs. undeveloped wagering crew slowly crashing into donut. Tie
- Dumb Fight Scene: Crew vs. Zombie and Stinky Cops vs. Bane's Dudes. Both pretty jawdropping dumb and lame. Tie.
- Dumb Accents: Everybody in Prometheus uses a funny accent vs. Bane's Sean Connery Mumble. Prometheus felt more like an onset bet, but kinda works. Bane is silly baby talk. Prometheus wins.
- Dumb "I'm Out": Alfred abandoning Bruce vs. Beavis and Butthead running from dead Engineers. Prometheus would win here, but then they had to suddenly become brave and pet the snake. So Alfred turning into a crying pussy wins.
- Dumb Travel: Batman magically crosses continents to get back to Gotham in the nick of time vs. Engineer not needing a helmet to track down that red headed bitch that turned left. I guess technically it could have taken Bruce weeks to get back and they just didn't show it, Batman wins.
TDKR wins by technical knockout. Prometheus is the dumber movie. Both were dumb but measly entertaining. I guess i was more entertained with Prometheus because i had lower expectations and the eye candy/Fassbender helped. When it was time to watch TDKR i was fed up and bored.
- Dumb faked death: Weyland's is even more wacky than Batman's. You could at least argue Batman is nuts and didn't let his friends in on it just to fuck with them.
- Dumb technology: Male only surgical machines, sentient holograms, egg controls, etc. vs. Countdown Timers, ID erasers, Wall Street transaction approval process, etc. Man, they're both rough. It's a tie, but not a big deal because they're just movies. If they were better movies you wouldn't care.
- Dumb Henchmen: Bane trains them for years to follow him to the death vs. Weyland's wacky crew is thrown together seemingly by who's facebook profile made him giggle. Batman wins this round even though Bane's henchmen really should have handled the cops and/or shot Catwoman in the neck.
- Dumb Love Scene: Bruce gets some while he's down on his luck by an oddly horny for broken down old men evil temptress taking time out from destroying the city vs. "It's easy to make life", "I can't, jerk", "I'm sorry", "Tee-hee, It's okay. Let's fuck!". Batman seems slightly more plausible.
- Dumb Bad Guy Death: Bane gets taken out by Catwoman vs. Charlize squished by a rolling donut. Batman turns left and wins.
- Dumb Dramatic Ship Explosion: See Batman's faked death in the sunset vs. undeveloped wagering crew slowly crashing into donut. Tie
- Dumb Fight Scene: Crew vs. Zombie and Stinky Cops vs. Bane's Dudes. Both pretty jawdropping dumb and lame. Tie.
- Dumb Accents: Everybody in Prometheus uses a funny accent vs. Bane's Sean Connery Mumble. Prometheus felt more like an onset bet, but kinda works. Bane is silly baby talk. Prometheus wins.
- Dumb "I'm Out": Alfred abandoning Bruce vs. Beavis and Butthead running from dead Engineers. Prometheus would win here, but then they had to suddenly become brave and pet the snake. So Alfred turning into a crying pussy wins.
- Dumb Travel: Batman magically crosses continents to get back to Gotham in the nick of time vs. Engineer not needing a helmet to track down that red headed bitch that turned left. I guess technically it could have taken Bruce weeks to get back and they just didn't show it, Batman wins.
TDKR wins by technical knockout. Prometheus is the dumber movie. Both were dumb but measly entertaining. I guess i was more entertained with Prometheus because i had lower expectations and the eye candy/Fassbender helped. When it was time to watch TDKR i was fed up and bored.
