Man in court for having sex with bike

Walter

Administrator
Staff member
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/10/26/nsex126.xml

[quote author=The Telegraph]
Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.
"They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.
"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.
"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police. [/quote]
I guess the obvious question to me is... what kinda bike?
 

CnC

Ad Oculos
I've heard of shoving a stick or something in between the spokes to stop them from moving but this is ridiculous...
 

Walter

Administrator
Staff member
Vampire_Hunter_Bob said:
Why is he in court for this? I didn't know Scotland had some very strict no bike sex polices.
The actual charge is: "sexual breach of the peace." Which implies the offense was the fact his act was made public at the time the maids walked in. But that's clearly bullshit since they used a key to enter the room. Whatever you do with your stationary objects behind closed doors is A-OK with me.

Scott Adams of Dilbert fame, had this to say:
[quote author=Scott Adams]
This story disturbs me on many levels. I was already concerned about becoming impotent from riding my bicycle. Now I’ll only ride my bicycle standing up, so no one will accuse me of teabagging it. I have enough problems.[/quote]

The last paragraph of the Telegraph's article got the biggest laugh out of me: "Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993." I guess... it could have been wet pavement?
 

Aazealh

Administrator
Staff member
Guess the door was locked FOR A REASON! :puck:

Scott Adams' comment cracked me up, as is often the case. Probably the only blog I'd read if I did read blogs at all.
 

Okin

The Ultimate Battle Creature
Hearing this crazy crap made my day! :ganishka: Yea, I'm pretty sure that was wet pavement, think of the chafing otherwise! :isidro:

But why a bike? Why in a hotel instead of your garage where no one would care?
 
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