Stupid things you did as a kid

Vampire_Hunter_Bob

Cats are great
I figured it's a good time to make a thread like this now [If you know another story that was some other kid pleaz post it].

When I was about 5 I had this strange fascination with dish washing soap [I think because it smells great], so I'd fill it up with soap and start it when it was empty. After doing this several times the damn thing broke and flooded the kitchen. My mom wasn't too happy about that either. :ganishka:

Another time I was making my self a tuna sandwich when I was about 8 or 9. One of the things I always did was lick the back of the lid because I liked getting every last bit of delicious tuna out of the can. So in my infinite wisdom i thought it was a good idea to put the whole lid in my mouth and savor the flavor. I got it out eventually but learned my lesson really quick.

Also when I was about 5 [Note this is also a great way to horribly embarrass your mom] I was at the grocery store, when this guy walked up behind me and my mom. i looked at him and started scream "mom that man touched me". The poor guy who was probably my age now freaked out telling my mom he didn't do anything, drawing an even bigger crowed as I scream about how this guy touched me. My mom quickly grabbed my hand running out of the store in embarrassment vowing to never take me anywhere ever again.

Lets hear some stories.
 

handsome rakshas

Thanks Grail!
Awesome thread Bob.

I did so much stupid stuff as a kid I'm surprised I'm having a hard time remembering it. Most of my blunders were usually fire and firecracker related. I've burned off my eyebrows quite a few times as a kid. Let me reminisce and I'll get back to you. Again, nice thread.
 

Aazealh

Administrator
Staff member
Well, there's this time when I was pretty young, I wanted to check out some perfume my parents had for some reason. So I put the spray real close to my face to aim well at my hand or whatever and shoot. Problem is, I hadn't noticed the hole was turned at the back of the bottle, and so I sprayed it straight into my eyes at point blank range. Needless to say it hurt a lot, and then I had to put my open eyes under running water to clean them, and that wasn't very nice either.
 

Griffith

With the streak of a tear, Like morning dew
Downed an entire bottle of liquid Tylenol when I was about 5. I still remember climbing the kitchen shelves to get it, but not much after that like passing out, the ER trip, getting my stomach pumped, etc.

Jumping off an end table and landing on a timer that had the knob removed so only the blunt metal pole it went on was sticking up. That left an amazing red hole in my foot that I still remembering gazing into like I was looking through a portal to another dimension.

A friend and I "surfing" on that same end table (it was long and thin), which meant rocking it back and forth, even after my father warned me not to because we or the dog could get hurt. So, what happens, he comes back in the room, we both jump off, and the table goes over just as the dog is walking over. Long story short, I was the one in the doghouse while the pooch's leg mended.

There's more, God there's more, but I'll leave it at that for now.
 

CnC

Ad Oculos
Well I lived overseas as a kid and remember doing a fair number of stupid things. Just one example was me and some friends would often try to get the roofs of buildings. Some times the only way to do this would be to climb the fire escape. These were often older buildings and the fire "escape" was usually just a ladder running down the side of the building.
 

Grail

Feel the funk blast
I had a phase where I was always going around and cutting things up to make collages and stuff. I used to be real craftsy. :void: One time, I picked up one of my dad's National Geographic magazines and saw a pretty picture, butchered a number pages for the sake of one of my little projects, and got some serious grief from my dad when he got home. He's been collecting every edition for some 30 years now, so he was naturally pretty miffed.

In another scissor-related incident, I tried giving my cat a haircut when I was about 8 or 9. I have thus learned that whisker snipping = quality wobbly entertainment. :ganishka:

Oh, and last but not least, I dropped a pair of toy tweezers into a toilet once when I was quite tiny, and took it upon myself to go on a deep-bowl expedition to retrieve it. I don't remember a lot about that particular incident, besides my mom yelling at me. But that happened a lot, anyway. :guts:
 

Griffith

With the streak of a tear, Like morning dew
You've reminded me that when I was young I would attempt to give myself haircuts, usually resulting in me having what would look like bangs with a half circle cut into them. I was punished for that once by not being allowed to watch Inspector Gadget, and I hit the roof, full on crying tantrum, you'd think I was dying from the pain of it. Oh, Gadget.

Ironically, I now cut my own hair today as well. Can't remember the last time I went to a barber.

Also, when I enjoyed experimenting with matches and fire, particularly fun experiments like melting legos and other plastic objects... I eventually stopped after discovering what happens when you light a length of toilet paper you're holding on fire, it burns... fast. Waving it around surprisingly doesn't make it go out either, but instead causes the flame to grow exponentially.

I don't do this currently.
 

jackson_hurley

even the horses are cut in half!
aahh fire. i wasn't really young, to be honest it was like two years ago when i used to smoke waaaay to much weed. my ex roomate and myself lite an empty pizza box on fire in the living room and just watch it burn saying to each other you put it out , no you put it out and i actually got up and put it out in the bathtube and it stayed there quite a while actually! such an idiot when i think about it.

if not well when i was a kid i had this tendance to grab my ex dog by the tail and swing him between my legs! it was so funny until the dog started to bark a lot at me.
 

Walter

Administrator
Staff member
When I was about 8, I used to melt GI Joes, using a variety of household flammable liquids. Several times, the WD 40 cannister would have visible flame on the nozzle, which meant it was seconds away from exploding in my hand, but I never realized it at the time. Whoops. Another time, a robot I was melting still had batteries in it, and the battery heated up and leaked an acidic liquid onto my hands. Still have the wrinkled scars from that. I was a dumb kid :serpico:

When I was about 10, near a playground, on a dare, I jumped from a third story apartment building window and landed on the grass, on my hands and feet. It knocked the wind out of me. My knees and ankles now pop when I flex them. But I sure showed those assholes who didn't think I'd do it =).
 

Escalus

Kiss My Cons
When I was 6 my older sister and I got into a fight and I attacked her with a stapler and got her three times in the hand.

When I was 7 I pee'd into an automatic water-gun and shot the cutest girl in the neighborhood.

When I was 8 I put a metal pot into the microwave in order to cook ravioli. I remembered that metal wasn't supposed to go in there, so I took out the spoon.

When I was 11 my friend Adam and I blacked out our neighborhood's Christmas decorations by taking one bulb out of each strand of each Christmas decoration on every tree in a three block radius (it took all night).

When I was 12 my friend Adam and I snuck out at christmastime and set up roadblocks in my city. That is, we would steal the the orange blink stands and the sand filled pylons and re-position them to block major thoroughfares and intersections, then laugh as drunk adults freaked the fuck out at 2 am.

Great Fucking Thread
 
When I was some type of.... uh, a young kid(forget years?) was at a babysitter's house and we had just watched home alone so we spent an entire evening trying to set up traps in his already deadly backyard, ropes, gas and matches, paint cans...oh man.

Got into a big fight when I was about ten or so in New York Some kid had been hassling me and of course everybody was anticipating action. Playground was on top of a hill overlooking a road which in turn overlooked another hill which lead to a barb-wire fence separating the base from the highway+Verrazano Bridge. Started out with him punching me and then grappling and rolling me off the first hill and then him landing smack dab on the road. Got pissed off even more cause I scraped my knee up on the hill pretty bad and thus started wailing on him till I sent him reeling off over the next little hill. However instead of peacefully rolling down a more smooth plain he hit a lot of rocks and wound up hitting the barb wire fence real hard and (either faked it or seriously was) got knocked out for about five minutes. Felt like A Christmas Story, imminent ass owning for kicking some other kid's ass who might go tell mommy and daddy.

Sure there's more but eh running dry atm.
 

Scorpio

Courtesy of Grail's doodling.
Surprisingly, I can't think of many overly stupid things I did as a kid. But maybe this story is why. I had just gotten a football, and I was proceeding to throw it over my parents bed, and then dive onto it for the layout catch, which was good fun until I threw it a tad too far and when I jumped after it I slammed my head into the wall. There is still a huge dent in my parents bedroom to this day.

More stories as I recollect them.
 
Really diggin' the thread! So here's a story from me:
I was about 10 or 11 and a bunch of my friends and I planed a raid on a neighboring cheery trees (the biggest, reddest, sweetest things you ever saw!). The largest tree was nearest to the house and our intended target, we went in quietly ans stealthily but as soon as we got to eating the noise level rouse. Arguments got even more hot as some people started braking of branches to take with them. This of course woke up the owner and he got out in his shorts carrying a shovel and yelling his lungs out. We rushed down from the tree and bolted out (a digression, the man also had a vineyard of which only concrete pillars and a few rusted out connecting wires remained). Being I was nearest to the ground I reached the vineyard first and started making my way through the columns when a Tom & Jerry moment happened: the rusty wire caught me square on the throat but my feet went on, for a moment I was in the air parallel to the ground before landing straight back on a rock. All my friends were terrified and got out as soon as they could, I on the other hand, laid there helpless until the man caught up. A right hiding ensued leaving me all black and blue with a "Hang 'em High"-like scar on my neck which stayed with me for quite a while. Still, a lesson learned, always have an exit strategy :guts:
 
Speaking of vineyards, my grandparents had one. I was around 5 years old, and there was this tube leaking some wine and I started drinking (I was really thirsty that day). I don't remeber how much I drunk, but I do remember standing up, feeling dizzy and when started to walk I fell to the ground and I passed out.

Later I woke up in my grandma's bed with a horrible sensation in my stomach, so I puke in the bed and I fell asleep again. After that I sleep all day. So that was my first hangover :serpico:
 

Walter

Administrator
Staff member
My parents were renovating their house and tearing down a half-wall to make the living room a little more open. My dad showed me, my sister and cousin which wall they intended to demolish, marked it with a big red X and handed each of us a sledgehammer. He thought we'd get a kick out of it, tearing down something AND being constructive. Of course, as I swung the sledgehammer over my head, I slammed it into the opposite wall, making a huge hole. Whoops! I guess that falls more under "stupid ideas your dad had."
 

Vampire_Hunter_Bob

Cats are great
Great entries everyone! Time for some more!

When I was in elementary school I was a bit of a genius. Apparently there was a piano lesson going on of some sort which was distracting me from doing my school work. So I put my brain to work! I took one of those big chunk erasers and came to the conclusion that if I broke my eraser apart and stuck it in my ears it would make a good ear plug... IT WORKED! :guts:

So school is about to end and I'm digging the suckers out with my fingers, getting the one in my right ear out first. The second one was an entirely different story, I tried digging it out, but it would go in further so eventually I told my self it should be fine. The next day I woke up to my ear hurting really bad. So of course to my poor mom's horror there was an eraser stuck in my ear. So she rushed me to the pediatrician, who pulled out the longest tweezer I've ever seen in my life up to that point. So after my mom called up the school yelling at them about why they weren't supervising kids I got a day off from school and I learned an important lesson.
 
ah yes here it goes. morally this one will make me seem like a horrible person but somehow i got the brilliant idea to climb up a tree in the front yard with my friend, with the end of our lunch, which was soda at this point. Unknown to us at the time was that there was a huge wasps nest up there. So we are sitting up there, maybe 5 minutes top and then all the sudden we hear bees really loudly and realize they are encircling us. We both end up dropping our sodas as there is a huge swarm now and she freaks out and falls out of the tree. I jump down after her and we both start running around my house in opposite directions, though most of them were after her. I get to the back door first to get inside the house and shut it. She comes to it all upset, obviously and after a few seconds I let her in, "after the bees went away" lmao. I couldn't let all those bees following her get inside! We were both pretty upset and she had a broken and casted arm before hand which the bees happened to lodge themselves into and sting her under. We celebrated this with ice cream.

Hopefully you all remember when Jurassic park came out. My friend and I, or rather her mother got a illegal copy of it when it came out which we watched. Sometime after this lead to a few stupid fights. Yea I was a kid who liked to read and i liked dinosaurs and this would be the ultimate setup for a brawl. We were on the playground, when this boy who liked to snap my bra and actually reminds me of Wario came up to us and told us some bs about the movie and how my friend Paul, who had the SAME Jurassic park lunchbox as me was a loser for having it. Apparently wario had a problem with dinosaurs lmao. Anyway he ended up coming to me saying "dinosaurs are stupid thats why they all died out" and me repling like "thats not true! they evolved into birds, thats why velocoraptors had feathers! and why birds have scales!" Oh this enraged him, the pure thought of this brought froath to his mouth. Eventually about 4 or 5 kids were involved in a fistfight on the assault against us. We were surrounded! We fought all the time though, but that was just the best opening for a fight we had. I ended up later during the tug of war accidentally stepping on and ripping out some girls earing though, so that was funny.

And at the request of a certain dave bob: My famous child stories involve my love to bite everyone and everything. When i was little, very little, I would get to know someone by bitting them. One day my neighbor came over to play with my older brother. She was all "hi!" and i walked over silently and inquisitively, took her hand, took a bite and walked away after she started screaming about how it was bleeding. Apparently i did this to everyone. I also used to walk off by myself all the time and hide in public from my parents as a child, like in the coat racks and stuff at the mall. One night also when it was dark I just went for a stroll and then there was a whole search party, but some random lady brought me back.
Another habit i had when i was little was getting really excited over finding dead things and needing to litterally poke them, like with a stick. But thats not really a story, i still do that now, lol

Vampire_Hunter_Bob said:
When I was in elementary school I was a bit of a genius. I broke my eraser apart and stuck it in my ears I'd make a good ear plug... IT WORKED! :guts:

lmao least you didn't eat them like me, or shove it up your nose. I once made a bad decision to do that with a Christmas ball one year, and it kinda got stuck. It was a little painful. I was also a genius kid,lmao
 
Escalus said:
When I was 8 I put a metal pot into the microwave in order to cook ravioli. I remembered that metal wasn't supposed to go in there, so I took out the spoon.

We've all probably fucked up with a microwave at some point during our youth. When I was around 10ish I put a pot-pie in the microwave, confusing the directions with the stove, and cooked it for about 35 minutes. Completely filled my house with smoke. Not only that, but when I finally took the burning thing out, it was so hot that I set it on the hardwood-floor that burned a ring that is still there to this day.
 

CnC

Ad Oculos
This thread is bringing back all sorts of memories. Apparently most of us were douchebags as kids :troll:

Some quick stories I thought of:
Once me and some friends in the neighborhood apartment complex got the strange idea to go around to all the bikes we could find and let the air out of the tires. I can't figure out why but I'm guessing it's probably because we liked the "PSSSSHHHHHHH" sound it made. Anyways this was all well and good but my friend got a bit overzealous and let the air out of the tire of a bike the owner walking towards. So he got busted then he ratted me out.

Also we were a bunch of kleptos. Stealing stuff was a challenge, and if I do say so myself I was rather good at it. Although once again I over-reached and stole some money to buy (I believe it was a transformer) from my mom. Unfortunately the only bill in her purse at the time was a hundred. So I got busted almost immediately (missing 100 bucks... but my kid seems to have a new toy). But I learned a lot from the experience (only steal the small bills :troll:).

I also seem to recall an occasion where we used cheap knock off super soakers (same design, but not the brand name) and sprayed strangers on the sidewalk. We were smart enough to not do it in a place where anyone would recognize us, though; so we got away with it.

...yup.
 
CnC said:
This thread is bringing back all sorts of memories. Apparently most of us were douchebags as kids :troll:
That sure seems to be the case but hey, they are all pretty good stories none the less.
CnC said:
I also seem to recall an occasion where we used cheap knock off super soaker's (same design, but not the brand name) and sprayed strangers on the sidewalk.
And oh man I remember super soaker's. I used to shoot the squirrels out of the trees with those myself to see if they'd fall.
Now I'm reminded of all the weird game things we had growing up. I dunno if anyone played Boom Ball for instance. We also used to collect balls and whale them over the house which always pissed off the neighbors. Has anyone not pissed off their neighbors or someone as a kid at some time though? Esp the crazy cat lady neighbor...
 

CnC

Ad Oculos
TriFrog said:
Now I'm reminded of all the weird game things we had growing up. I dunno if anyone played Boom Ball for instance. We also used to collect balls and whale them over the house which always pissed off the neighbors. Has anyone not pissed off their neighbors or someone as a kid at some time though? Esp the crazy cat lady neighbor...

Well I usually just played the regular games: soccer, dodgeball, etc. A dodgeball game wasn't over until someone was bleeding/really hurt :badbone:
 

Scorpio

Courtesy of Grail's doodling.
After sleeping on it, I've thought of a few more.

There was this nature show for kids I had just finished watching, and in it they had said that bees couldn't see the color red. There was a wasps nest in my front yard, so, being the clever devil I was, I decided to dress up in (mostly) red and take them out. Believing myself to be quite invisible, I simply marched up and whacked the nest with a stick. After the first sting, I was simply confused, but after the second I decided to hightail it out of there. Somehow I made it back to the house with only 3 stings in all.

Nothing bad happened to me in this next story, but a friend of mine probably wishes we had played regular dodgeball instead. Some childhood friends and I had decided to play dodgeball in the middle of the street while riding our bikes using soccer balls and basketballs. One of the basketballs I threw knocked my friend off his bike, skinning his right knee and thigh on the pavement. It wasn't as bad, but another friend had a pretty solid crash after hitting the curb while trying to avoid a ball. He narrowly avoided colliding with a mailbox. I don't think we ever played that again.

My mom used to ride horses as a kid so she decided that I should share her passion. I had learned the basics and was free-riding around an indoor arena with a soft sand and dirt floor and in order to not fall off I was clutching my legs fairly tightly, which is the command to go faster, but at the same time I was pulling the reigns because I didn't actually want to go any faster. The horse decided that enough was enough and bucked powerfully, sending me completely over the front of the horse. I did a flip in the air and landed on my back in a soft patch of sand. I wasn't injured, but I was pretty shook up and thats the last time I've ridden a horse outside of a few trail rides at national parks.
 

Forest Wraith

Evil is born when we lose power over ourselves.
This is always a fun topic.

For starters. There is the time when I took a broken cord from an electric appliance, plugged it into the wall and touched the lived ends to a nail, just to see what would happen. There was an extremely loud Poof! I saw a blue-white flash and sparks and a one of the wires soldered itself to the nail. Half the lights in the house went out and my Mom called out "What was that?"

Scorpio said:
My mom used to ride horses as a kid so she decided that I should share her passion. I had learned the basics and was free-riding around an indoor arena with a soft sand and dirt floor and in order to not fall off I was clutching my legs fairly tightly, which is the command to go faster, but at the same time I was pulling the reigns because I didn't actually want to go any faster. The horse decided that enough was enough and bucked powerfully, sending me completely over the front of the horse. I did a flip in the air and landed on my back in a soft patch of sand. I wasn't injured, but I was pretty shook up and thats the last time I've ridden a horse outside of a few trail rides at national parks.

When I was 5: I went on a kindergarten field-trip to a local farm. They gave myself and my classmates sugar-cubes to give to the Horses. I put mine in my back-pocket and got my ass nipped at by a Horse as a result: I responded by grabbing a nearby Golf-club and getting ready to take on the Horse, of course, the adults in the area stopped me . . . I have only the vaguest memory of the experience.
 

snake1mi

Blood is just red sweat.
Ahh, brings back old memories,

I remember when I was about 4, I was cleaning my house while my dad was at work. I came with this brilliant idea to whipe the floor with Ajax cleaning soap,
Then when dad came back and entered the living room... you get the picture.
Usually you wash the floor with lots of water, not a whole bottle of Ajax.

Another one; when I was 10, me and my brother found a house left open, with no one inside. So we entered the house me and my brother. It was quite big, with a large balcony. Then my brother started to throw some of the furniture out of the balcony. At first I was just watching, then I dont know why, but I joined. We were throwing the stuff out of the balcony together, imgine that. With no reason at all. I dont know what we were thinking, An then there was this heavy cedar chest, which was so heavy, my brother couldnt lift alone, so I grabbed it with my brother, and we used all our strength both of us and we were able to throw it out too. After that we threw more furniture, but suddenly a man with his wife saw us, and they told us to take everything back, or theyd call the police. Oh my God.
We had to take everything back from the garden to the second floor of the house.
 

Luca

Happiness is a warm gun.
I used to take my gymnastics mats and place them on top of my TV, creating a 'slide' of sorts for me to ride down on. I'd hold the mats down with books and support beneath them with pillows.

However, this adventure was bound to end in tragedy and I suppose with every time I would slide down the mat, the TV would be pulled further and further off of the shelf it was on. Eventually, the TV ended up falling on my head :judo: Face first into the carpet, I couldn't even breathe or get my head up off the ground, and my sisters had to run and grab the TV off of my head. Of course, it wasn't TOO big at least, so I came out of it okay (...I think).


Come to think of it I have no idea how that didn't severely injure me.

Hmm, let's see. This isn't a stupid thing as much as it is a silly thing. When I was a child I was afraid of the big WARNING signs on VHS videos that would appear before a movie would play, warning you about copyright infringement and all of that. It was black and red and all I could read at the time was WARNING and it would scare me so much that I'd go and run and hide behind the couch and wait for the warning sign to be gone.

Oh! And once I thought it would be cool to take my horse (I was about eight) to the bus stop, so all of the kids on my older sister's bus could see me and be in awe at the majestic beauty of Elegant Lady (that was her name). But I guess the bus scared the crap out of the horse when the engine roared and it was pulling away, and my horse kicked me right off of it :( in front of everyone on the bus. At least they all got a laugh.

Actually, I humiliated myself quite often as a young girl. How sad.
 
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