Stupid things you did as a kid

Okay, for the record, i didn't misbehave like some you did as miniature hellspawn. But there was a few things. First of all. for almost 2 years i wore nothing but superman gear with a velcro cape. no lie. so i would get on top of the fridge and jump off. explains why i have some issues with my knees now. and i liked to climb things, and after falling down about 4 flights of stairs (on the side that has no footing) i landed in the basement of the apartment building with a few nasty lumps and bruises. then some bastard kid pushed me off a 15 foot slide (appx 5 meters) and got a nasty concussion and some serious memory loss. haha.
 
I'm sure I did a million stupid things as a kid, but it's so damn hard to remember them!

When I was in third grade, I really hated going to school. So I took a stick from the ground and spent some of my recesses scraping at the dried cement in between bricks in hopes of making the school collapse.

I've also made the mistake of putting metal in the microwave.
 
Skorne said:
i learned not to do that by watching my mom.....

I also didn't realize that Caprisun pouches counted as well...

I was at the gym while my mom was doing workouts. I saw some guy jogging at 9.6 miles per hour on the treadmill. So I went to another treadmill, set it to 10 miles per hour (the maximum speed) and tried to get on after it finished accelerating. I couldn't get up to speed fast enough, so I slipped, got a 1 inch diameter circular cut on my knee, broke my fingers, and had to wear a cast for 4 weeks.
 

CnC

Ad Oculos
Peregrine_Falcon said:
I was at the gym while my mom was doing workouts. I saw some guy jogging at 9.6 miles per hour on the treadmill. So I went to another treadmill, set it to 10 miles per hour (the maximum speed) and tried to get on after it finished accelerating. I couldn't get up to speed fast enough, so I slipped, got a 1 inch diameter circular cut on my knee, broke my fingers, and had to wear a cast for 4 weeks.

lawl. :ganishka:
 

Aeglos

Avatar made in mspaint
Haha this thread delivers. :troll:

As a kid I had very random ideas all the time. One time I decided I wanted to explore my whole house... sightless. So i went everywhere with my eyes closed. After a while I got bored so I decided to stop, went over my parent's bed, opened my eye a little to see where the bed was (Yeah, I cheated) and went over to sit on it... bad idea... I miscalculated and fell ass down to the floor hitting my mouth with the corner of a night table... My front tooth got loose and I had a resin tooth protection implanted on all my upper jaw for a month... I had to eat everything mashed soup style. Worse time ever.

I was a lot older this other time, senior in High School equivalent (17 or something). Some friends and I were playing with a golf ball throwing it around the classroom, until I had the brilliant idea of trowing it outside the window. We were on the second floor... the ball bounced spectacularly twice before falling on the Principal's car, leaving a huge and horrible dent in the back. I don't know how, or maybe time slowed down for us, but exactly 3 seconds later the principal crossed the door and shouted "WHO THREW THAT BALL"... instant fail.

I did a lot of stupid things in school. Other time while grapple-fighting (in a friendly way) with a classmate, My whole arm broke and crossed the small window in the classroom door. Glass flew everywhere and sprayed many passing alumni outside including, yes, the damn principal... I had some really bad luck with him. Good thing he liked me, though :badbone:
I had several pieces of glass removed from my hand and arm, but that can only add to one's manliness :miura:

This other time I was arguing with my young sister. I was washing some apples to eat them, but she irritated me so much I just threw one at her. It hit her straight in the eye knocking her back. She made a horrible tantrum and I was grounded for oh so much time... again.

And the last one for now. On the way back from school, me and a lot of friends took a shortcut that passed through some path next to a sewage. It was a weird zone in the city, full of plants, dirt, junk, but surrounded by houses. The water there was disgusting (It was not unusual to see dead cats floating in there, or worse things... and we usually fell down there while playing stupid games). The thing is that once a friend played a prank on me and threw my backpack down a small slope covered in dry foilage. My bravery had no limits, so I jumped down with a cry of virility... only to land and get stuck up to my waist in F*ING BARBED WIRE... it was so rusty it camouflaged perfectly with the dead leaves and plants. Crap. Since the zone was somewhat isolated and off limits, my friends had to make a human chain to rescue me from there. Never again shall I jump recklessly into the unknown :puck:
 
My mother and I have always had a peculiar relationship. More like siblings than mother and child, really.

Once when I was about 9ish, she and I were goofing around in the checkout line at the grocery store. I said something snide to her, and she pulled back her hand like she was going to lay into me. Seeing an opportunity, I shouted at the top of my lungs:

"Oh no, Momma! I want to keep THIS hip!" :puck:

And got everyone in the store to stare at her in horror.

Between that and other incidents, there is plenty of proof for my mother to be a saint. Otherwise I shan't have survived to this age.
 
S

smoke

Guest
When I was like 2 I guess I was in the living room while my mom was doing the dishes or something in the kitchen. She glanced over and noticed that I was chewing on the hook end of a wire coathanger. Apparently I'd cut my gums or something, too, and was bleeding a bit, but didn't seem to care. Teething on sharp metal is kind of stupid.

When I was about 8 or 9 a bunch of my friends and I were riding bikes up and down the street. I, for no particular reason, decided to veer off into our backyard. At the time, my dad had our boat in the backyard, tucked just behind the house. I came around the corner of the house and hit the nose of the boat with my sternum. I fell off my bike, on to the ground gasping for air and died. Well, not really, but I wouldn't have been surprised. I had a huge bruise for about 2 months afterward.
 
I had a Dalmatian as my first dog, lazy-scared-bloke. I think I was 7. He was fast asleep when I hugged him and tried to kiss him on the side of his head. It startled him and it's the only time he snapped at anyone. His tooth dug a little higher than my upper lip and I got a Tetanus shot for it.
 
I'll never know what got me thinking I was a master snake handler at the age of 7. In the woods and ditches out back of our house or out on the nature trails during summer camp, I was grabbing snakes and handling them like a fool. Could have been bit a dozen times. Yeesh...
 

Gobolatula

praise be to grail!
Here's one of many.

My family and I were on vacation at Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. This was around when I was in 5th or 6th grade or so. We were set up really nice at a hotel right on the beach. There was this swimming pool area right outside the hotel on the way to the beach, where my parents were hanging out.

Me, I was flirting with this girl and a few of her friends right by the ocean. I was doing pretty well, too, for an 11 year old. I got to the part where I told her she was cute and minutes later she told her friend to tell me she thought I was cute too.

Little did I know, my dad was spying on me, and decided to take a picture of his boy talking to girls on the beach. All I heard was *CLICK*, I turn my head, and then I see him run away from behind the shrub he was hiding behind. My dad laughed as he made his way back to the pool area.

I was fucking pissed. In retrospect, too pissed. My dad was just taking pictures for the family photo album or whatever. But back then, every single thing my parents did embarrassed me. And my dad just blew it.

These girls didn't know who my dad was. They just saw some 40something year old Italian dude with a mustache take their picture then run away giggling.

I did the only thing I thought was right. I stomped after him, and the second I set foot in that hotel pool area and gave him the most furious glare I could, I screamed at the top of my goddamn lungs, for him and all the other parents to hear, "WHAT THE HELL?!?!???!???!?!?!?"

Every adult there was silent and my parents looked at me like I was a crazy person. Maybe I was. Some ill-mannered 11 year old yelling cuss words at his dad. Yeah I was kind of a shithead.

A minute later, I see the girl being dragged away by who I assume was her father, giving her a stern look. Turns out she was told not to talk to me anymore. I don't blame him. Maybe I did over-react a little.
 
Restaurant Knife vs. Knuckle. While waiting for the entree, you'd hold the knife a few inches above a friend's closed fist, then let it drop. It would normally takes 15 drops for anything to happen.

First one to bleed, loses.

:daiba:
 

Gobolatula

praise be to grail!
Proj2501 said:
Restaurant Knife vs. Knuckle. While waiting for the entree, you'd hold the knife a few inches above a friend's closed fist, then let it drop. It would normally takes 15 drops for anything to happen.

First one to bleed, loses.

:daiba:
Ouch that hurts.

Speaking of restaurants and bleeding, I got 2 restaurant stories. The first one is short: Me and my buddy worked at an Italian restaurant when we were about 16. We would get stressed out A LOT. When we did, we would grab sheets of ice from the ice machine, go out back in the alley behind the restaraunt. and just PUNCH THROUGH them. They'd shatter and we'd feel like karate masters and it was great. But it would often make our knuckles bleed. Then we'd have to explain to the manager that we're idiots.

Story 2. This one doesn't involve bleeding: When I was in high school, whenever me and my dumb friends went to Denny's, I would build ridiculous towers out of all the ketchup and mustard bottles and salt & pepper shakers. We would also draw pictures on all the sugar packets or write jokes on them. We always gave the waitresses HUGE tips, thinking that it made up for us being obnoxious assholes.
 

DarkDragoon

Kuro no mahoutsukai
I went through a pretty stupid phase around 12-13, mostly with one friend in particular. One day we were on a vacant dirt road behind my neighborhood, which was adjacent to a large field of tall, dried grass, surrounded by woods. We were blowing up cans of bug spray and hair spray(it was fun at the time.) Nothing bad came of that, but we noticed an old abandoned car in the field and went to go check it out. While we were, I was mindlessly lighting and releasing the lighter, and one of the times it caught a piece of the tall grass, obviously. Well it was windy and that shit spread fast. I tried putting it out with a random sofa cushion that happened to be lying there, but it was out of control, and once we heard the car start to hiss, we grabbed our bikes and hauled ass out of there. We went to a pay phone at a gas station, called 911, and hid in the woods for 2 hours. When we got back, there were a bunch of fire trucks and the whole field had burnt down and had started to spread into the woods. The theory was that someone blew up a car in the field. We were never caught. But I was pretty sick from smoke inhalation for a few days. I stopped playing with fire after that.

Do I win the stupidest kid award?
 

Grail

Feel the funk blast
KuraiDragoon said:
Do I win the stupidest kid award?

It's like something out of an after school special: "The Consequences of Playing with FIRE!" :ganishka: Just squeeze a teenage pregnancy in there and you could probably sell a script to ABC.

Now that I look back, I had a few bad habits... when I was about 3 or 4, I used to shove things up my nose a lot. Coins, crayons... pretty much anything that a preschooler could get their hands on. At one point, I developed a stuffy nose (wonder why?) and when my mom tried to do some investigating, I ended up sneezing everything out. I remember her being mad, but I was too happy to care. :ganishka:
 
During summer I used to play with my cousins in the forest near my parent's house. And usually we'd come up with some ideas to make some wooden weaponry. So one day, we wanted to find some wood in order to make good slingshots. So I took a knife that I carefully hide from my parents when I leave the house.

I was carving wood, making stories about my skills and everything went great until I accidentally stab myself in the leg. I didn't cry but I was really scared (and so was my cousins). I just went back to the house, as fast as I could, one hand on the wound because it was bleeding a lot. i can remember clearly the moment my mother saw me and was so shocked to see blood all over my legs/arms.
I pretty much had leave a trail of blood. So obviously, I was treat and punished.

A fews weeks later, still recovering, school has begun and I was proud to show to my buddies my (war) injury. Of course, at the time I didn't realize but it could have been serious or even lethal (like hitting the femoral artory).

Tha was really a dumb move.
 
Oh god, it'd be easier for me to post stupid things I DIDN'T do as a kid. I was as dumb and reckless as they get. I've got stories for days.
For one, I used to take Disney movies too seriously. I would try to reenact scenes in the movies myself or with my siblings. After watching Pocahontas, I ran outside half dressed and smeared mud on my face for markings. I stuffed random twigs in my hair and then proceeded to "explore new lands" by climbing the fence and jumping into the neighbor's backyard where I'd eat fruit off their trees and dance around doing that tribal call hand patting over your mouth thing. The neighbors were always calling my parents to be like "I...I think your kid is in our backyard....." Followed by my mom screaming for me to get inside. I think worse than that was when I tried to make a fire to dance around. I broke off branches from the shrubs in my backyard and piled them up. I used a kitchen lighter to try and make a fire but nothing would really start. So I ran inside to get computer paper and cooking oil and doused a huge pile of it then lit it. The fire got so big that it got out of control. I had my sisters with me and we were all trying to act like Pocahontas until my dad came out yelling. I was clever and hid while they took the fall for it. :ganishka: Don't get me started on the Lion King, Little Mermaid, Aladdin and so on....

I was WAY too hyper, too imaginative, and too... stupid. I don't know how I survived. I was so dumb and so easily entertained. I needed to be tranquilized, really. One time I thought it would be funny to trick my sisters into thinking it was hailing. So I took a bag of ice from the freezer at 5am and climbed on top of my roof of our house right above where our room was. I ducked to hide and started throwing ice chunks off the edge of the roof before screaming "IT'S HAILING, IT'S HAILING COME OUT AND LOOK!!" When my sisters ran out I hid and kept throwing ice off the roof. I remember thinking it was SO hilarious and trying to hard not to laugh. When they realized it was me they all glared and went back to bed while I almost rolled off the roof laughing myself to tears.
 
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