10,000 BC

I saw this movie today. I think I learned a lot. I never knew European looking cave men lived south of Egypt and South Africa. I never knew frozen tundra could exist within half a mile of a hot, steaming jungle. I never knew mammoths were used for aid in constructing the pyramids. I never kne-BARF!

Really, the only thing prehistoric in this movie were the B-thriller cliches. I got about a 3rd of my money's worth though, my friends and I were laughing for a good half hour after getting out of the movie. I have never, in my life, seen a movie try to look historical yet take such a gigantic shit on (pre-) history. I probably shouldn't even be posting this, but I thought maybe I might save some poor historian from taking his or her own life after seeing this movie. By the end, I was genuinely hoping, and almost expecting, the Spartans from 300 to charge in and kill everybody, thereby redeeming all the parts from that ridiculous yet awesome movie that 10,000 BC stole. Now pardon me, I have to god vomit out of my eyes.

There's been advertisement for this movie for like a month in the subway here, and it's still at least 3 weeks until it comes out. It all looks ridiculous, so your review doesn't surprise me in the least.

Vaxillus said:

I saw this movie

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This was the point in the review where I lost respect for you and stopped reading. =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Dm6wwF-_MA

From the creators of ID4, Godzilla, The Day After Tomorrow
translates to
From the creators of really bad movies, comes another bad movie.

Griffith No More! said:

This was the point in the review where I lost respect for you and stopped reading. =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Dm6wwF-_MA

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Yeah, I deserved that. But in my defense I hadn't even seen a tv trailer for it before my friends dragged me along. I guess peer pressure isn't just about doing drugs. At least you can enjoy being high, this was probably more akin to Bengay on the balls (don't know for sure, because I'm sure I don't want to find out).

I saw it about a week ago, and it was pretty good. The main characters village was in the high mountains which explains the snow and ice, but I don't know much about Nubia and Egypt's geography. I think Woolly Mammoths were alive 10,000 years ago.

There are some ridiculous events and historical fallacies . The Great Pyramids of Giza were not made by slaves, they were made by willing subjects of the Pharaoh who were actually treated well for their hard work. They had 10 day week with three days off, and were provided with relatively nice housing and all the food they could eat. Some even had opportunity to rise in the hierarchy through marriage and promotion (Well, not the manual laborers, but the scribes and the chiselers did.) Finally, African Elephants/Woolly Mammoths have never been domesticated, though it would explain how the pyramids were built with only manual labor and in the relatively short time frame they were actually created.

It was an epic tale, and it ended in a satisfying cliche.

The whole time, I couldn't stop making racist jokes because I was with my Persian buddy, and we noticed a trend in the actors. Maybe, I got more laughs out of the movie than anything?

Okin said:

There are some severe historical inaccuracies. The Great Pyramids of Giza were not made by slaves, they were made by willing subjects of the Pharaoh who were actually treated well for their hard work. They had 10 day week with three days off, and were provided with relatively nice housing and all the food they could eat. Some even had opportunity to rise in the hierarchy through marriage and promotion (Well, not the manual laborers, but the scribes and the chiselers did.) Finally, African Elephants/Woolly Mammoths have never been domesticated, though it would explain how the pyramids were built with only manual labor and in the relatively short time frame they were actually created.

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AHAHA I can't stop laughing, Historical inaccuracies? The entire thing was a historical inaccuracy.. a lot like your theory on the pyramids.
Seriously were do you get this crap from?

I admit, I'm talking out my ass. But it was executed well.

It's all good, I'm actually really curious how you worked out they're work schedules? lol.

Vaxillus said:

I never knew European looking cave men lived south of Egypt and South Africa.

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People are still disputing the race of the Ancient Egyptians

Griffith No More! said:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Dm6wwF-_MA

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How do you find this stuff? I wonder if he has a Berserk review by any chance

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28619

Okin said:

There are some ridiculous events and historical fallacies . The Great Pyramids of Giza were not made by slaves, they were made by willing subjects of the Pharaoh who were actually treated well for their hard work.

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This is actually a very serious theory that has been gaining popularity for years now. Many archeological findings do not coincide with the idea of unqualified slave workers, which was never very solid to begin with.

Vaxillus said:

I never knew European looking cave men lived south of Egypt and South Africa.

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Actually, they looked more like Rastafarians... I was expecting friggin' Ziggy Marley to pop up at any second. Of course, then, the broke out the wooly-friggin'-mammoths right smack dab in the middle of Egypt and it hit me... I JUST SPENT $8 ON THIS CRAP!

I just have to express my dislike for this movie. Wow was it bad... too many reasons to start listing... just atrocious

Well, the point of this thread was to be a warning, I feel no sympathy for your misguided soul.

I can't wait for the trilogy to be packaged at Best Buy: Independence Day ("Welcome to Erf" Edition), The Day After Tomorrow (Blizzaster Collector's Cut) and 10,000 BC (carbon dating-be-damned Edition), all with extended/blooper footage and unmastered, storyboard footage for alternate endings.

"Buy them together and SAVE (but lose your soul)!"

Vaxillus said:

Well, the point of this thread was to be a warning, I feel no sympathy for your misguided soul.

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Yea I actually thought it had some potential, guess I had to just see for myself. At least I didn't pay for it