Movies to dread

Griffith

With the streak of a tear, Like morning dew
A truly DREADFUL double post! :void:

http://movies.yahoo.com/news/usmovies.accesshollywood.com/taylor-lautner-stretch-into-latest-role

Taylor Lautner has been cast in the title role of "Stretch Armstrong," Universal Pictures confirmed to Access Hollywood.

"The Twilight Saga" star will take on the role of the rubbery hero based on the Hasbro toy. The 3-D film will be released in 2012.

So this is what the Mayans were talking about, and just listen to this phony gasbag:

"In the past two years, Taylor has emerged as a real star at the global box office. He brings the perfect balance of energy and athleticism to the role of an unlikely super hero with a fantastic super power," Universal Pictures co-chairman Donna Langley said in a statement to Access. "We couldn't be more pleased that he has agreed to be our Stretch."

Uh huh, the horrors continue:

The film's 2012 release is geared toward allowing him time to work on his previously announced projects - the title role in "Max Steel" as well as the films "Northern Lights" and "Cancun," a film centered on his martial-arts skills. A final film - or potentially two films - based on "Breaking Dawn," the fourth book in "The Twilight Saga," has yet to be made official.

Is there anything redeemable in this article about the state of the movies?

In related news, another Hasbro property-turned-Universal film, director Peter Berg's "Battleship," has moved its release date to May 25, 2012 - Memorial Day weekend.

No.
 

Vampire_Hunter_Bob

Cats are great
Death May Die said:
Ugh, you the reboot list is getting longer and longer, and lamer and lamer. (Even sadder this is a old list)

http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/261202/46_movie_remakes_and_reboots_currently_in_the_works.html

Only one of them doesn't deserve to be lumped together with all of those:

True Grit

The Coen Brothers are taking on the film that bagged John Wayne an Oscar, as the pair are looking to bring a fresh take on True Grit to the big screen. Their version is said to veer from the source book a little more, with the focus of the story switching to the 14-year-old girl who hunts down the killer of her father. The Coen Brothers are penning the script for the film, which is expected to film soon.

The biggest problem with most of these movies is that a lot of them are remaking movies that came out just a short time ago.
 

Oburi

All praise Grail
Short Clash of the Titans featurette if anyone is interested. http://www.movieweb.com/news/NEdhnkheShUmgh

I suppose it belongs here.
 
Oburi said:
Short Clash of the Titans featurette if anyone is interested. http://www.movieweb.com/news/NEdhnkheShUmgh

I suppose it belongs here.

Why? Other than my issue with the look of Liam Neeson's costume as Zeus I'm looking forward to it.
 

Aazealh

Administrator
Staff member
Oburi said:
Short Clash of the Titans featurette if anyone is interested. http://www.movieweb.com/news/NEdhnkheShUmgh

Clicked on this, looked decent. Then I saw links to Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (I thought it was over...), Die Hard 5 (ugh) and Unbreakable 2 (UGH).
 

Griffith

With the streak of a tear, Like morning dew
Aazealh said:
Unbreakable 2 (UGH).

The sequel to the movie nobody wanted to see!

I actually enjoyed Die Hard 4 for what it was worth though; when techno terrorists take over the modern world, only an old-fashioned guy can stop them, WITH HIS FISTS! :guts:

I think it's the first jock vs. nerd movie where the jock is the underdog you're clearly rooting for. =)
 
Proj2501 said:
Well, Zeus-Neeson's costume does resemble the look of the Gods in the original film. This Clash will basically be 300 with more monsters.


Maybe I should have specified or said it this way. I'm absolutely fine with his costume but....I just wish they made his hair and beard white. When I think of Zeus I think white beard and white hair.


Aazealh said:
Then I saw links to Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (I thought it was over...)


Ya I'm a big Pirates fan and been following that one for a while now. Seems they're using a book of the same name for it's inspiration. The villain is Blackbeard in this one. They'll be filming in Hawaii and just added to the cast was Penelope Cruz. :carcus: Probably as a "distraction" for Jack Sparrow.


I'm excited of course. They say they'll be trying to make the movie more in line with how the first POTC was. I'm sure most people liked the first more than 2 and 3. Personally, I loved 3.
 

Aazealh

Administrator
Staff member
グリフィス said:
I actually enjoyed Die Hard 4 for what it was worth though; when techno terrorists take over the modern world, only an old-fashioned guy can stop them, WITH HIS FISTS! :guts:

I think it's the first jock vs. nerd movie where the jock is the underdog you're clearly rooting for. =)

Bah, I don't know, maybe I should watch it again but I felt it lacked something.

ori said:
Maybe I should have specified or said it this way. I'm absolutely fine with his costume but....I just wish they made his hair and beard white. When I think of Zeus I think white beard and white hair.

Yeah I thought it was odd as well.

ori said:
They say they'll be trying to make the movie more in line with how the first POTC was. I'm sure most people liked the first more than 2 and 3. Personally, I loved 3.

That's probably a good thing. When I watched the first movie I was just happy to see a revival of the genre, and I thought they pulled it off well. Good summer flick. Then I felt the second and third installments lost the delicate chemistry that had made the first one a success and tried to replace it with crazier story developments. I think it would have been wiser to discard the boring characters (Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann, Norrington) and to focus on Sparrow instead of trying to make them badasses. But then again, after the last two movies I think I've had enough of Sparrow's wacky antics as well...
 
Aazealh said:
I think it would have been wiser to discard the boring characters (Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann, Norrington) and to focus on Sparrow instead of trying to make them badasses.

No Turner and Swann lovey dovey stories in this one so I think you'll be happy to hear that. I heard neither of them are returning.
 
Waste of a post in all honesty, but for all of you who might want to see The Crazies, don't. I went to a 10:05 pm showing out of sheer fucking boredom and I fell asleep 3/4 of the way through. I didn't see the original so I can't honestly compare. It hit the ground running but should've begun with a slow jog to conserve energy for the finish line.

Proj says: Save yo money.

You're Crazy to see this movie. Too much?
 
X

Xem

Guest
グリフィス said:
The sequel to the movie nobody wanted to see!

I actually enjoyed Die Hard 4 for what it was worth though; when techno terrorists take over the modern world, only an old-fashioned guy can stop them, WITH HIS FISTS! :guts:

I think it's the first jock vs. nerd movie where the jock is the underdog you're clearly rooting for. =)

You didn't like Unbreakable but you liked Die Hard 4? I'm starting to doubt your taste in cinema, sir!

Die Hard 4 was fucking terrible! Of all the 80's action movie stars reprising their roles, this was BY FAR the worst. Shit I watched it drunk and still couldn't find enjoyment out of it. Unbreakable had a pretty original and refreshing take on the super-hero genre.

Funny really, since both movies star super secksy Bruce Willis. What a stud. :slan:

I fell asleep 3/4 of the way through. I didn't see the original so I can't honestly compare. It hit the ground running but should've begun with a slow jog to conserve energy for the finish line.

Really? You fell asleep? :ganishka:
 
Deci said:
Die Hard 4?

He didn't even say, "Yippe Ki Yay Motherfucker."
"Yippe Ki Yay Motha-*GUNSHOT*" doesn't count. Fighter Jet vs. Semi? No.

Deci said:
Really? You fell asleep? :ganishka:

I did indeed. My asshole friend kept smacking my leg whispering, "Boo." Let's say I was less than amused. :mozgus:
 
X

Xem

Guest
Proj2501 said:
I did indeed. My asshole friend kept smacking my leg whispering, "Boo." Let's say I was less than amused. :mozgus:

Haha. You should've told your friend that you got more of your money's worth out of the nap than you would've by watching the movie. That was always my mother's excuse. :griffnotevil:
 

Griffith

With the streak of a tear, Like morning dew
Deci said:
You didn't like Unbreakable but you liked Die Hard 4? I'm starting to doubt your taste in cinema, sir!

Die Hard 4 was fucking terrible! Of all the 80's action movie stars reprising their roles, this was BY FAR the worst. Shit I watched it drunk and still couldn't find enjoyment out of it. Unbreakable had a pretty original and refreshing take on the super-hero genre.

That's pretty damning coming from the guy defending Terminator Salvation and, most shamefully, pre-apologizing for PrEdAToRz. So, to clarify, I wasn't saying I didn't like Unbreakable, just that there's no need for a sequel either creatively or financially (which is specifically what my comment was alluding too). Secondly, that was completely unrelated to what I said about Live Free or Die Hard, so I'm not sure why you're doing some misguided comparison, since I wasn't. Finally, as for that movie, while it indeed was no way a worthy successor to the original Die Hard (there isn't and won't be one), if you can get over that, it's actually most entertaining as an ironic and abstract old-school-action-hero-comes-and-destroys-a-bad-modern-action-movie story. It still has all the conventions of, and in fact is, a terrible modern action movie... except that John McClane shows up and completely kills it with relish, acting as an anachronism in the movie both literally and figuratively. In that sense it's a relative triumph in its own right among these sorry retreads, and I'm not sure how else one should take the movie, though certainly not seriously. I'm sorry your GIRLFRIEND didn't see it that way. :iva:

Proj2501 said:
He didn't even say, "Yippe Ki Yay Motherfucker."
"Yippe Ki Yay Motha-*GUNSHOT*" doesn't count. Fighter Jet vs. Semi? No.

Oh yeah, one more thing, you gotta watch the unrated version, you bunch of slack-jawed faggots. :badbone:
 
X

Xem

Guest
グリフィス said:
So, to clarify, I wasn't saying I didn't like Unbreakable, just that there's no need for a sequel either creatively or financially (which is specifically what my comment was alluding too).

Except... M. Night Shyamalan had planned for Unbreakable to be a trilogy since pre-conception, so it completely makes sense that he finally realized he needed to stop making movies catered for mainstream audiences and stick to what he himself wants to do. I could see this being a big success if Bruce Willis isn't too fuckin' old by now... which Die Hard 4 sadly showed to be true.

Finally, as for that movie, while it indeed was no way a worthy successor to the original Die Hard (there isn't and won't be one), if you can get over that, it's actually most entertaining as an ironic and abstract old-school-action-hero-comes-and-destroys-a-bad-modern-action-movie story. It still has all the conventions of, and in fact is, a terrible modern action movie... except that John McClane shows up and completely kills it with relish, acting as an anachronism in the movie both literally and figuratively. In that sense it's a relative triumph in its own right among these sorry retreads, and I'm not sure how else one should take the movie, though certainly not seriously.

I think you're mostly alone in that sentiment. I've since tried to watch the movie in many other mediums, and it just plain fucking sucks. No redeeming value whatsoever.

I'm sorry your GIRLFRIEND didn't see it that way. :iva:

You'll find someone one day. :casca:

Oh yeah, one more thing, you gotta watch the unrated version, you bunch of slack-jawed faggots. :badbone:

:ganishka:
 

Griffith

With the streak of a tear, Like morning dew
Deci said:
Except... M. Night Shyamalan had planned for Unbreakable to be a trilogy since pre-conception, so it completely makes sense that he finally realized he needed to stop making movies catered for mainstream audiences and stick to what he himself wants to do. I could see this being a big success if Bruce Willis isn't too fuckin' old by now... which Die Hard 4 sadly showed to be true.

You just made my point for me that it's probably a bad idea. Unbreakable was a nice little movie with a twist, stretching that twist into another full feature is precarious at best. It stands alone rather well as an unconventional superhero movie, seems counterproductive to make it into a conventional one.

Also, it wasn't like it was a big hit, I mean, what needs to happen for movies to be safe from unnecessary sequels? Is lukewarm box office not enough anymore?

Deci said:
I think you're mostly alone in that sentiment. I've since tried to watch the movie in many other mediums, and it just plain fucking sucks. No redeeming value whatsoever.

I know I'm mostly alone in that sentiment, but I'm comfortable with that because I thought about it objectively and came up with my own take, which I actually explained. You're literally just saying "it sucks" on the strength of superlatives and the conventional wisdom. You're free to disagree anyway, but that's not very convincing argument.

Deci said:
You'll find someone one day. :casca:

Or I could just say I do every other post. :carcus:

Deci said:

This stuff will make you a God damned sexual tyrannosaurus, just like me. :badbone:
 

Oburi

All praise Grail
グリフィス said:
This stuff will make you a God damned sexual tyrannosaurus, just like me. :badbone:

These are killing me. He really does have all the best lines, doesn't he?


... "I ain't got time to bleed".
jessev.jpg
 

Griffith

With the streak of a tear, Like morning dew
Oburi said:
These are killing me. He really does have all the best lines, doesn't he?

Even Poncho's comeback to the sexual tyrannosaurus line was good, "Yeah, strap this on your 'sore ass,' Blain." as he holds up his grenade launcher. :carcus:

I think my balls dropped early watching Predator as a kid. Manliest movie ever. :guts:


predatorarms.gif
 

Oburi

All praise Grail
I know, it's so friggin depressing.

Poncho was my favorite guy, btw. Even as a kid I like his face paint with the stripes going across.

I thought this was interesting, showing all the guns used in the film. http://www.imfdb.org/index.php/Predator

At the bottom they have a freeze frame of the "spear" type thing that hit Blaine in the shoulder. I never noticed that. I always thought it was something else, or just blood getting splashed on him. I had no idea it was harpoon thing that grazes him. :serpico:
 
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