Movies to dread

Already seen it, we bootlegged it. I guess its already out in UK for some reason. Now a month later, it arrives in the US, where it was made. It has a few moments, nothing break through. If you didn't like Land of the Dead or Diary of the Dead...well you get the pattern.
 

Vampire_Hunter_Bob

Cats are great
I love how Romero's movie legacy will forever be tarnished because of these recent Dead movies he seems to insist on making. However; to be fair, he was never that good of a director in the first place, outside of his zombie movie I feel he was basically ignored as a director.
 
The new Resident Evil.
http://www.comingsoon.net/news/wonderconnews.php?id=64716
Wow, they're milking RE5 already. Fuck this series.

Why won't it die!?!
 

Aazealh

Administrator
Staff member
Proj2501 said:
The new Resident Evil.
http://www.comingsoon.net/news/wonderconnews.php?id=64716
Wow, they're milking RE5 already. Fuck this series.

Ugh. Paul W.S. Anderson just making sure his wife gets work.
 

Oburi

All praise Grail
Johnstantine said:
I wouldn't mind seeing Ali Larter die.

Ugh me too! Can't stand her.

Speaking of which, I heard she's suppose to be in that new Resident Evil flick. :troll:
 
I'll never cease to be amazed by how many people are so wowed by 3D in movies. Sure, it can be fun, but honestly it feels dumb most of the time.

Just look at all those 3D cheese moments they put into that RE trailer. And they put James Cameron's name in there just to try to catch some attention. Shameful.
 
More shameless remakes:

Hollywood Bad Idea Dept: 'Real Genius' & Brett Ratner Produced 'House Party' Remakes On The Way
via: The Playlist

Hollywood never has a shortage of bad ideas, but with news of two of them arriving in one day, we're guessing the few people left with taste at the studios were probably intentionally locked in the bathroom while meetings for these projects took place. Pajiba's The Hollywood Cog has revealed that 1985's "Real Genius" and 1990's "House Party" are being readied for the remake treatment. Hooray!

In case you were too young to remember, "Real Genius" is "about the youngest kid to be accepted into a program for geniuses who teams up with his roommates to develop a high-powered laser, which is stolen by the military and used as a weapon." It was made during the height of the Cold War and was a satire of the era's paranoia. However, given that the audience that we saw "Hot Tub Time Machine" with were pretty much non-responsive to the character of Blaine and his love of "Red Dawn" we're not sure how exactly a remake is going to resonate. That said, with a second draft of a script now out to writers we're sure it'll change into your standard teen comedy. The only way you could make us interested in this is if you got Val Kilmer to reprise his role as a teenager.

So what does Brett Ratner do when he's not busy repeatedly proving himself to be one of the worst directors in Hollywood? He's watching shitty movie vehicles for novelty music acts and even worse, he's turning them into contemporary vehicles. Under his appropriately named producing banner Rat Entertainment, the auteur is producing the remake of the Kid 'N Play "comedy" "House Party." The film, which actually sort of unbelievably spawned two sequels took the mainstream idea of hip hop popularized in "The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air" and made it even more ridiculous. This is such a bad idea, we don't even have any suggestions on how to make this better. And we swear to god, if Chris Tucker comes near this thing we might just have aneurysm.
 

Scorpio

Courtesy of Grail's doodling.
Ugh. I loved Real Genius and I still think its a good movie, why do all of these assholes want to tarnish our nostalgia?

Oh right, because the industry is full of talentless hacks with no creativity.
 
Ugh I saw Clash of the Titans. That is one movie most people here were right about. Simply terrible. At times some quiet scenes were childish and geared towards teenager mentality.

The scene that started the fall downhill was the little pep talk he gives before they enter Medusa's lair. This ending SUCKED. I don't know how they were able to ruin the perfect formula the original had but they managed to somehow.

The action was ok I guess not really spectacular to me. If anyone does watch the movie do not watch in 3D. The glasses they gave me to wear made the picture very dark. When I took the glasses off it didn't look like it was in 3D.
 

Walter

Administrator
Staff member
ori said:
I don't know how they were able to ruin the perfect formula the original had
Let this be a lesson to you: NEVER underestimate Hollywood's ability to fuck something up.
 
Well, I did go see Clash as well, but I had a perfectly good damn reason for going (Holidays + family arguments) and needed to kill sometime and cool off. Long story short, this 'movie' blew some serious penis. Line delivery was on par with the Star Wars prequels, 3D was very questionable and the action was dull.

The original while not perfect was still more enjoyable compared to this. Just watching the old school stop motion makes it that much more superior.

Also, what the fuck was the point of them pulling out the
Metal Owl (name escapes me)
in the new one while they're gearing up? So lame. I literally yelled, "Wow." And during 3D scenes I made sure to yell, "Whoa, 3D!" I think it enhanced the movie for those around me.
 

Aazealh

Administrator
Staff member
Hahaha, I warned Oburi against it yesterday, I wonder if he heeded my advice. As a punishment, those who saw Clash of the Titans must go see Bounty Hunter tonight. :zodd:
 

Oburi

All praise Grail
Nope haha. I watched it last night as well. I only enjoyed it because I'm such a fan of the original, and in the theater the action scenes were alright. But while effects were cool in 3D, the characters remained 1D :serpico: Seriously that has to be the worst depiction of Perseus in film history. They got it all wrong, and even the creatures were lame. Why was the pegasus black? Why did the witches look like left overs from Pans Labyrinth? How come the Kraken reminded of the giant turtle from Cloverfield?

I know the original isn't the greatest thing on earth, but at least it was scary and had some really powerful scenes.
 

Lithrael

Remember, always hold your apple tight
Oburi said:
I know the original isn't the greatest thing on earth, but at least it was scary and had some really powerful scenes.

Yeah, I just went to see it too and was surprised they could make something so epic so boring. The original was one of the first movies I ever went to see and I rewatched it when I got home. OK, 80's Perseus and Andromeda couldn't act their way out of a paper bag, but the movie was still 800% more fun than this special effects trainwreck. I ended up checking back to the oldschool mythology and was surprised that Calibos was the only plot element the 80's version really pulled out of their butt, due to the general lack of modern-sense antagonists in the Perseus story. And Calibos was GREAT. That guy's scene begging Goddess McGonagall for revenges outshines anything Ralph Fiennes phoned in as Hades in the new film. I mean really. You could take the Disney Hades more seriously than this guy.

But the new one was making shit up left and right. And WTF was with the bizarre 'war against the gods' angle? That was just weird and distracting and it was like THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE NEW THRUST OF THE STORY? WHAT? Also: Chewbacca, ladies and gentlemen. Chewbacca.

But mostly I was pissed how they took ALL THE GODDESSES out. IIRC even HERA has NO LINES. There's just the queen, the princess, two women the gods fucked (at the beginning of the film one's dead and the other's a gorgon) and one they only tried to fuck (who Perseus now wants to fuck). Oh, and the witches. Yey. I guess they gave Perseus an adoptive mom and/or sister for about five minutes too, overshadowed of course by Pete Postlethwaite as the dad, and all of em killed in the beginning in any case, in the attempt to give Perseus some character.
 

Oburi

All praise Grail
Yup :serpico: My friend hadn't seen the original and he kept leaning over and asking me "How come there is war against the gods"? To which I replied..."I dunno". Made no sense.

The only thing that kept me from falling asleep was the jokes that we were making throughout. My favorite part was at the end when
Zeus brings back Io. Like, why didn't he just revive Perseus' family? Then that final look that Perseus gives to the heavens was the cherry on top. We broke out laughing so hard. It was like "Oh dad. You... your good, youuuu."
I was in the first row and when the credits started rolling I stood up (as a joke) and and turned to the half filled theater and started the slow clap that was to lead into applause. Sadly, all I got were a few giggles. Then I left.
 

Aazealh

Administrator
Staff member
The Perineum Falcon said:
How about this (also) be the general senseless remake thread:

I present to you Dinner for Schmucks
(that's right aazie, they've remade Le dîner de cons)

Ganishka-throne2.jpg


Lithrael said:
But mostly I was pissed how they took ALL THE GODDESSES out. IIRC even HERA has NO LINES. There's just the queen, the princess, two women the gods fucked (at the beginning of the film one's dead and the other's a gorgon) and one they only tried to fuck (who Perseus now wants to fuck).

Learn your place, woman!
 
Haven't seen the movie, but from what I'm hearing, Robin Hood deserves a spot in this thread, and the backstory could be more entertaining than the actual movie:

Anatomy Of A Botched Development: How 'Robin Hood' Went From Bad To Worse
via: The Playlist

Ridley Scott’s "Robin Hood" is botched you say? Hell, you don't even know the back story.

An in-depth article by NY Magazine has dug into the drama around the production of Scott's enervating merry men tale and if anything it confirms two things: 1) Hollywood really has its head up its ass sometimes especially when it comes to kowtowing to egos and 2) after the very expensive bombs of "The Wolf Man" and "Green Zone," (both costing over $150 million and both likely not recouping), Universal is having a really, really tough year (let's add the $20o million dollar cost of "Robin Hood" and a pretty soft opening and you're looking at a year that will probably stay in the red even when the 4th quarter finally arrives, ouch).

Not only were millions of dollars thrown away in the making of this redo, it also nearly caused the rupture of one of Hollywood's most successful actor/director partnerships in Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott. Let’s break this down in a timeline so you don't have to read the entire thing.

12th Century – Robin Hood is born. Possibly.

January 2007 – The spec script written by "Sleeper Cell" creators Cyrus Voris and Ethan Reif, lands in Hollywood. Originally called, "Nottingham," the story takes a new twist, focusing on the Sheriff of Nottingham, who is actually the nice guy in this version, with Robin Hood now the meanie, and they both fell in love with Marian. Switcharoo! Warner Bros. is interested and so is Disney. Suddenly, Russell Crowe’s agent at William Morris wants in too. (For the record, we've read "Nottingham," and while the idea is interesting on paper, the execution is kind of awful; basically "CSI: Sherwood Forest," full of terrible dialogue like "It seems word of your brilliant counter-mining stratagem and its utter defeat of the rebellious locals reached the Royal ears of King Richard — and His Majesty was quite impressed." Those who are throwing their hands up at the desecration of an unmade gem aren't exactly on the money.)

January 2007 (one week later) - Crowe reads the "Nottingham" script and attaches himself as the Sheriff. Done. This sparks the interest of studio executives who had originally passed over the project and now want to be involved. A bidding war erupts: New Line Cinema and Warner Bros. make offers, but Crowe wants to work with producer Brian Grazer, so Universal agrees to pay a whopping $1 million dollars to acquire the script, and another half million if it gets made.

March 2007 – Voris & Reif are so pumped to finally take that all-expenses-paid trip down to Australia to meet with Russell Crowe, go over their script and hang out at the actor's farm over the summer. They already make plans to drop Mr. Sniffles off at the kennel.

April 2007 - Ridley Scott, ("Gladiator," "American Gangster") comes aboard to direct.

May 2007 - As soon as Scott's arrival on the project is made public, Voris & Reif stop getting phone calls from the studio. Their reservations to Australia are put on hold and in typical Hollywood fashion, they find out that they have been fired by hearing that there is an open writing assignment at Universal for a project called Robin Hood. Somewhere, an agent's assistant gets his wings.

Spring 2008 – Scott turns to screenwriter Brian Helgeland ("LA Confidential", "8 Mile") to morph Nottingham into a more traditional and boring Robin Hood tale. Two years from now Scott will tell the Sunday Times of London that the original premise was “fucking ridiculous” and that “you’d end up spending 80% of the publicity budget explaining why it was Nottingham and not just Robin Hood.” Conversely no one can explain to audiences why 80% of "Robin Hood" is dead boring.

Summer 2008 - Helgeland rewrites the script again, telling the tale of Robin impersonating the Sheriff of Nottingham after seeing him slain in battle. It's a fresh idea and accordingly, Scott is not impressed. Universal then hires British screenwriter Paul Webb (who had been writing on Steven Spielberg's Abraham Lincoln biopic). Scott is unhappy with this draft as well. He’s running out of time, a Screen Actors Guild strike is in the air and tension begins to mount between Crowe and Scott. Several people believe they have the right intentions; Hollywood is a funny place.
Early 2009 - Under pressure, Scott turns to Helgeland for yet another draft. In it, Robin would not impersonate the Sheriff, but instead takes over the identity of a slain knight from Nottingham. Finally, this is the story that Scott wants and the one that hit the screen this spring much to the chagrin of audiences that enjoy being mildly entertained.

April 2009 – Production Starts. However, the dialogue stinks as the script has been Frankenstein-ed over and over again. Universal hires another Brit playwright, the Oscar-winning Tom Stoppard ("Shakespeare in Love"), paying him hundreds of thousands of dollars to work as an on-set dialogue polisher, and pushing the film's final screenwriting tab to a whopping $6.7 million. Not shillings. Dollars.

May 2010 – "Robin Hood" hits theaters, bores audiences to tears, fails to move the box-office and can't even unseat "Iron Man 2" in its second week of release.

For all this time and money, Robin Hood failed to earn more than the 1991’s "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" or Scott/Crowe's own "Gladiator": “As BoxOfficeMojo.com recently pointed out, Robin Hood had a $36.1 million opening; when the other films are adjusted for ticket price inflation, 'Prince of Thieves' $25.6 million opening is equal to $48 million today, and Gladiator's opening would equal over $51 million today.”

Two girls, one cup; one movie, four screenwriters. Does it really matter when it’s just going to end up a piece of shit anyway? These stories don’t always make us happy, and in many ways they're depressing as all get out, but they are at the very least pretty entertaining. But seriously, don't expect Universal to green light or announce any major tentpoles in the next year. They are in a seriously tight spot right now. Mind you, one disgruntled reader reminds us that "Robin Hood" did well internationally, so it's possible the film can still make some money back, and yes, it has made $113 million so far. Just another $100 million to go, plus domestic and international P&A costs as well ($40 million as a very conservative estimate?).
 

Aazealh

Administrator
Staff member
The Perineum Falcon said:
Haven't seen the movie, but from what I'm hearing, Robin Hood deserves a spot in this thread, and the backstory could be more entertaining than the actual movie

Thanks for that man, I'd read it about a month ago and wanted to show it to a coworker just this morning. Anyway this thing really is a complete mess.
 
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