Now that a few days have passed and the thread has calmed down I feel more comfortable posting here.
I’m younger than a lot of people here and haven’t been reading it for as long as many, but I vividly remember when my dear friend recommended this bizarre sounding comic from Japan written by some reclusive author who I could only find a couple pictures of online. I was somewhat sceptical. A tale about a guy with a ridiculously large sword killing demons left and right in a revenge plot? Well, fast forward to now and Miura’s work means a lot to me and I’ve spent countless hours discussing it with people I never would’ve encountered were it not for this manga.
These discussions have included close topics such as the artwork, historical merit, intricate plot lines, characters, etc, but they’ve also gone beyond that, touching on morality, philosophy, and much more. And while a lot of work in the manga industry touches upon these subjects it seems that they resonate the strongest with Berserk. After almost a decade of having read this manga I still don’t know exactly why that is, but I know it is worth nothing but respect as a work of art.
Still, I had taken a break from the manga for a considerable period of time, never really thinking about it as I went on with my life, but waking up on Thursday to read the news of Miura’s passing left me feeling a strong sense of emptiness - utter deflation - with the speed and suddenness of a gunshot. Different thoughts immediately began swirling around in my mind, trying to interpret the feelings. Perhaps it was because I’d spent more time on his work than any other that I felt so somber. Perhaps I was sad that all the characters I’d gotten attached to would never get their full story told. These things, among other similar thoughts, made sense, but I had an underlying sense of dread as I reread the announcement of his death over and over again.
Whilst it’s commonly asserted by readers that Guts’ struggle on the page has caused a lot of people to get emotionally attached to the character, I’m sure reading the few interviews, notes, and statements from Miura depicting his continuing struggle with the manga and doubts of his life and life choices left people feeling similarly connected to him.
I’m aware of aortic dissection and what the experience is like the majority of the time. I truly hope with all that I have that Miura didn’t start to regret his entire life at that point, and I get existential dread imagining myself in his place - perhaps knowing my time is up and that the work I’ve spent decades on will remain unfinished. The panic and terror of it all.
That was the thought perpetually going around in my head that left me half-comatose for the remainder of the day. But as the days have passed and I’ve picked volume after volume from my bookshelf to indulge in some nostalgia - putting my mind right back to a younger me, being impressed page turn after page turn - I’m getting the realisation that (as sappy and saccharine as this might seem) Miura is right there on the pages. The very concept of Guts and Puck, as told by Jyoji Morikawa, simply started out as something in Miura’s head, a figment of his imagination. A lot of characters are drawn from his childhood, some from his desires, and others from media that he enjoyed. Character arcs, monologues, and plots were drawn from his mindset at the time. Berserk, which I always saw as a great collection of panels and pages that told a great story - a manga - turned into a kaleidoscope of Miura’s consciousness and my sense of connection with this guy I know nothing about grew stronger and stronger. Miura is gone, but he's also right here, in my hands, channeling himself to me, and millions of other readers around the world.
I also didn’t see Berserk anymore as this story doomed to remain unfinished, its full potential never reached. If Miura had made a statement months ago saying he’s putting the pen down and never drawing a line again in his life, Berserk would still remain a crowning achievement and something he could be proud of. Am I still saddened that Guts’ struggle will never reach its end according to Miura’s full vision? Yes. But the fact that I have 40 volumes of work from this guy, an embarrassment of riches, resting on my bookshelf brings a smile to my face.
I haven’t talked to that dear friend of mine for many years and that added with the melancholy air surrounding the news made me feel terribly lonely and I just wanted to get some thoughts out, so here I am. I apologise for the rambling, hasty writing, poor structure, and lack of direction. I just want to get these things out of my head.
I will always cherish your work...
Rest well, Kentaro Miura.