Berserk Screenplay Adaptation

After lurking through a number of forums over the months, I noticed that there are a LOT of fans who would love to see a live action big budget Hollywood production of Berserk. I personally would love to see that happen some day, but of course the two most difficult hurdles would be:

1) proper casting
and
2) condensing the berserk story into feature film size chunks while at the same time staying true to the original content.

Since I can only speculate about who would make the best cast, I decided to try and tackle the daunting task of writing a screenplay adaptation. I think fans of the series would rather suffer torture at the hands of Mozgus than see a Berserk movie that had been butchered by bad writing.

After making hypothetical outlines for the beginning and end points of a series of Berserk movies, I decided that first movie would essentially cover "The Guardians of Desire" through the "Master of the Sword" episodes. And so, about 7 hours later I found myself with 27 pages of screenplay that spanned "The Guardians of Desire" episodes. That is 27 pages *AFTER* trimming out quite a bit of material. So unfortunately, I had to make the decision to truncate the first 10 pages that I had written so that this first "act" would be able to fit into the 25-30 minute time frame I had budgeted for it.

If you decide to read through my rough draft you will quickly notice the "trimming" I have made. Most notable is the complete removal of Puck. I plan to introduce him much much later, in what would essentially be the beginning of a 3rd movie (God willing). I really hope to get some feedback from you guys and *constructive* criticism. This is only the rough draft of a small portion of what promises to be a very lengthy screenplay. Once I get some more free time I promise to write more and I hope my fellow fans will support me in this venture, even if it does seem a bit premature and silly.


Oh yeah... you can download the rough draft here:
http://www.mediafire.com/?6yngkbymodj


P.S. This is my first post on the site, this is probably the most odd way that I could introduce myself, LoL.

Before reading your draft let me just say it's kind strange the way you decide to portray your work. "You may notice that I did this and plan to do that and I intend to do this..." It's one thing to write fanfiction for fun but your acting like you have some authority in changing things in the story. Unless your a real bigshot hollywood screenwriter who's serious about making it into a movie, why bother to change anything at all? Adapt it directly as Miura wrote. I think everyone here agrees that the only true way to adapt the Berserk manga into a Berserk movie would be to do it in Sin City style, shot by shot directly as it is written. We 're still having a tough time dealing with the little that is changed with manga-manga translations, nevermind you with your preferred version of the story. But i don't know for sure thats just my opinion I could be wrong.

If a berserk movie came out. I don't care. Good, Bad. I would still go to the opening night, and I would still buy the dvd later. I'll read what you wrote, man.

Oberi said:

Before reading your draft let me just say it's kind strange the way you decide to portray your work. "You may notice that I did this and plan to do that and I intend to do this..." It's one thing to write fanfiction for fun but your acting like you have some authority in changing things in the story. Unless your a real bigshot hollywood screenwriter who's serious about making it into a movie, why bother to change anything at all? Adapt it directly as Miura wrote. I think everyone here agrees that the only true way to adapt the Berserk manga into a Berserk movie would be to do it in Sin City style, shot by shot directly as it is written. We 're still having a tough time dealing with the little that is changed with manga-manga translations, nevermind you with your preferred version of the story. But i don't know for sure thats just my opinion I could be wrong.

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Wow, gees you'd think coming to a forum called "creation station" I hoped I would find fans who are open to creative new ideas...

That aside, Berserk WOULD have to go through some editing if you wanted to tell a well paced story in a film medium. Berserk is NOT like Sin City, The Sin City movie was basically 3 separate stories that had cross over events and people that connected them, It was not an epic tale revolving around a single central character. A much better example would be to compare Berserk to something like Lord of the Rings, which if you've read the books then you would KNOW just how many changes and omissions were made to produce the screenplays written by Peter Jackson. Now who was Peter Jackson to go in and make these changes to a story that is beloved by millions across the world? Yes he was a director and yes he had access to big shot producers, but more importantly he was a FAN. A fan who understood the constraints of the film medium and also how to effectively retell a story while still preserving what was most important.

If someone was to write a wholly pure movie based off the Berserk manga he would find himself with a two hour film that only covered "The Guardians of Desire" and essentially leave an audience who is alien to the Berserk universe with a sense of "what the hell did I just watch?" because the story goes nowhere and explains next to nothing. Then good luck getting a chance at making a sequel or creating new fans.

You've got this whole "well who are you to think that you can do this?" attitude. I personally think of myself as nothing more than a very dedicated fan of the series who would *like* to get some help from other fans on a project that needs to be scrutinized by said fans. Once the fans have finished tweaking it, it should obviously be left up to the one person who really matters, Miura as to whether or not it's worth of his stamp of approval. Let me be honest here, do I think that this thing has a snowball's chance in hell of ever becoming a movie? Probably NOT, but I think that if anyone (besides Miura) has the right to give something like this a try it would be the fans.

If you don't want to give input, then that is fine, just don't reply to the thread. However if you think that you could take a few minutes out of your day to make constructive criticisms or suggestions then I will gladly thank you.

8GaugeBrett said:

Wow, gees you'd think coming to a forum called "creation station" I hoped I would find fans who are open to creative new ideas...

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keep in mind any and all constructive criticisms are also welcome. I don't think Oberi is out of line, there.

Brett, you've really got to learn to have a thicker skin if you ever hope to make it in the writing industry. Especially if you attach yourself to a project that is BOUND to generate controversy, such as a Berserk film adaptation. Fans have a lot of attachment to the series, so you should really pay attention to both positive and negative criticism. Anyway, as for my comments:

I've written a few screenplays that became short films in college, and directed a few too, so I can say you've got the format down pretty well. But you would normally have many more directorial comments about on-screen action. Towards the end there's one huge paragraph explaining all the action that goes down when Guts fires his canon at Femto, but it has no camera notation for any on-screen visuals. Including these, even in a script format, gives the reader some indication of where you're going with this visually.

You've really got to brush up on the dialogue. This is what sticks out the most to me, on first blush. Many of these phrases are really "on the nose," and even sound uncharictaristic for the characters. Simply put, if you're trying to market this as a Hollywood-sized film, this dialogue would not fly.

Also, the first scene here is a little sprawling. Think of what Miura did, he started off on the right mark with Guts killing a nameless apostle. No emotional developent is necessary for the apostle. That first scene is vital. In both manga and film, the first scene is integral in establishing mood, atmosphere, premise and character.

I do appreciate as a fan your obvious efforts in keeping it as literal an interpretation to the manga as possible, and I understand you feel you've got a great deal of ground to cover here, but this is simply too fast. To describe the pacing as breakneck would be an understatement. Characters move in and out of frame with no emotional attachment whatsoever. A film adaptation of the series couldn't hope to cover this much ground successfully. I think a full movie of the Black Swordsman Arc could be effectively paced, but certainly not in 30 minutes.

I'd also remove Vargas completely. He doesn't play a role on-screen at all in your script, as you've already moved beyond any scenes of development he had in the manga.

Another critical element to any successful screenplay is knowing your boundaries. What budget do you expect this to have? That really limits what you can include in these scripts. I remember in 2000, an independant film company wanted to make Berserk for, what was it, $6,000? That was the first, and as far as I know, the only concerted effort to see Berserk on the silver screen, and that is FAR too small a budget for it to be fully realized, at least as interpreted literally from the manga.

Think of the film on a smaller scale and I think you'd be heading in the right direction.

Hey there Brett, welcome to SK.net. I've read your script and first, I'd like to compliment you on your effort. Now that it's been said, I've got some qualms with what you did. I think Walter nailed a lot of the problems, but I'd to point out some more stuff. I'll be honest, so I hope you don't get offended.

First off, I think it's a really bad idea not to include Puck. He's not there just to look pretty, he's a useful counterpart to Guts that lightens the mood, brings up and explains various stuff to the viewer without it looking too obvious, and of course is the center of several important plot elements. He's pretty important in the beginning of the story, so I don't see what the benefit of introducing him later would be. This brings me to the fact that completely skipping the "Black Swordsman" and "The Brand" parts doesn't seem like a good idea either. These serve to introduce a lot of concepts that are needed to avoid confusing the viewers, especially if you're thinking of making more than one movie. On that point I strongly agree with Walter that a full movie of the Black Swordsman Arc is possible, not jumping into the action right away but taking some time to introduce the world and characters first.

Anyway, as an example of something you could rework in your current script, the scene when Guts uses Dahl as a lure seems a lot more effective in the manga than the way you depict it. The viewer doesn't have to see Guts grabbing him, putting his cape on, hiding elsewhere, etc. It'd work in a movie as well as the original scene does in the manga. I don't have the time to be more detailed and go over everything, but basically I think there's still some refining to do, on the dialogues and the rest.

8GaugeBrett said:

A much better example would be to compare Berserk to something like Lord of the Rings, which if you've read the books then you would KNOW just how many changes and omissions were made to produce the screenplays written by Peter Jackson. Now who was Peter Jackson to go in and make these changes to a story that is beloved by millions across the world? Yes he was a director and yes he had access to big shot producers, but more importantly he was a FAN. A fan who understood the constraints of the film medium and also how to effectively retell a story while still preserving what was most important.

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I don't think comparing Berserk to LotR is that relevant actually. One's a novel and the other is a graphic novel, that can make a lot of difference. The way both stories are set is also pretty different. And because Peter Jackson was a fan and his adaptation was mostly successful by mainstream standards (I know I wasn't perfectly content with it personally) doesn't mean being a fan is enough to make it work. There's a big part of subjectivity here as to what is the most important, for example I'm sure many people would think some of what you omitted from your script is important enough that it should be featured in a movie. I'm not trying to pick on you or anything, but if you're just going to say that you're right because you understand how it should be done, like Peter Jackson (and unlike potential detractors), then I'm afraid you'll come off as arrogant.

8GaugeBrett said:

If someone was to write a wholly pure movie based off the Berserk manga he would find himself with a two hour film that only covered "The Guardians of Desire" and essentially leave an audience who is alien to the Berserk universe with a sense of "what the hell did I just watch?" because the story goes nowhere and explains next to nothing.

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I disagree. Actually, a movie covering the whole Black Swordsman arc (so, not just the Guardian Angels of Desire part) would make perfect sense and be self-contained, yet leave the opportunity for a sequel wide open. Don't underestimate what Miura did with his story, its structure is already very good. Cutting up whole chunks for whatever reason isn't a good idea IMHO, and you would probably realize it sooner or later. The animated series can teach us many things in that regard. Besides, so what if it's 3 hours long? Plenty of movies are, like the LotR flicks that you were taking as an example earlier. Berserk can't just be adapted into a short and fast paced action movie that'd ignore half the story, it wouldn't really be Berserk anymore and I believe it'd suck.

I hope my comments will prove helpful in a way or another, but in any case keep your chin up and don't be too disappointed if this draft isn't acclaimed. Even the best scenarists sometimes take years to produce something they deem satisfying.

I've had this idea since I started reading Berserk and (asides from lack of a college degree in the area+being the slut of a hollywood director/lawyer/contract killer?) there's several reasons its never going to see fruition.

I realized from a theatrical standpoint, there's a lot of things you just can't sell about Berserk. Sure, the idea of a guy man handling a 6 foot sword and killing giant cobras who drink the blood of children and he himself who uses the gore and remains of to douse out a fire all the while seeking some dark course of revenge with plenty of anal sex..
ok rambling, but the point being we're fans of Berserk because we go through 32+ volumes, have deep discussions about all things apparent and subtle, and thoroughly enjoy our fandom. Point being, when you try introducing this concept to the actual audience, be it American or global, you sort of hit a wall in how much justice and success you can do and receive at the same time.

It's not just a matter of violence/sex/content, its relaying your enjoyment of Berserk to a mass audience. And again Brett, there's your problem. You get one retort from SK.net and you're on the verge of tears. I hate to say it, but as a fellow writer, you must not write too much, or have an open forum/critique? If you can't handle 1 forum member giving positive criticism on your screenplay, going in front of a movie studio/director and discussing how much of your balls you're handing to them on a silver platter isn't going to go so well.


To point out some other nags, in my screenplay, I decided to include Puck instantly (not in terms of appearance, but without a thought I should say). You need that humor. Again, if Miura in all his prestige couldn't think of a better way to balance his manga, to remove that factor proves a rather flawed understanding of what he wanted to achieve.

Things I thought about taking out or adding involved, for example, the "temptress" apostle in the first episode/page (she have a name?) I figured maybe there would be a buildup in a local town with a rumor of "Black Swordsman" and have that boil down into the whole "Apostles turn into humans when killed" thing and having a "witness" attest to the "Black Swordsman" butchering that beautiful woman, sort of adding an understanding in a more subtle way as to why later on the name is so attached to atrocities.

Well that, and I couldn't picture opening up a movie with Guts thrusting away and not get the wrong idea about the movie/series.

Edit: Arc wise, eh, I agree with Aazealh from the start. If it can't be a 3 hour epic in theaters, there's really no point in doing it. I figured covering the Black Swordsman arc in movie 1, releasing a dvd with another hour of footage (mostly DELETED XXX CONTENT! that hard R rating couldn't take), second movie would be as much crammed golden age as possible with same dvd results, third movie would be the big whammy of eclipse, and fourth and final (after my drug overdose) would be a movie released with web episodes/series (doubtful) that covered my favorite pieces of Berserk thus far, the events in volumes 14-22. All in all the DVD release would be about 4-5 pieces, and would need to be at least 15 hours long. Otherwise, why even make a movie? There's the anime.


I didn't think it was a flawless concept to begin with, and if anyone (or does now?) blasphemes it, they have a right to lampoon it until it is correct. I mean if you're making a movie screenplay based on a popular work, how are you going to advance at all without the support of the fanbase?

But yeah, I think you've got a lot of commitment to your rendition of a possible Berserk screenplay, but keep in mind your worst critics are your best friends.

This was too damn long, god damn it. SPOON or something random ends this, yeah I'm tired.

Phoenix Wrong! said:

the "temptress" apostle in the first episode/page (she have a name?)

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She must have had one, but we've never been told what it was.

First I'd like to say thank you! thank you! thank you! for the input guys. =)

I'm am going to take your advice and go back to rewrite a number of the lines to soften them up, many of them I had pulled directly from the manga translations. I'll also make sure to type up the outline I am using so that you guys might have a better feel for the pace and direction I have in mind.

In a way, I am trying to use the Anime series almost like a model for this first "act" of the movie, and maybe that's my first mistake. The first episode of the series dropped us into berserk in a very unforgiving and confusing manor. It basically shows us post apocalypse Guts, his brand summoning spirits, floating images of a very cryptic God Hand, a green behelit, and a fight with the Snake Baron Apostle. That is a HUGE amount of information to have thrown at you, especially since almost none of it becomes relevant in the anime until the very final episode, but it did give you a lot of questions which encouraged continued viewing. I was trying to accomplish nearly the same thing, Post Apoc. Guts, a Behelit, the God Hand, and A fight with an Apostle. Again, maybe the Anime is something I should not look towards as a model, but Miura did approve the script for it.


P.S. - I didn't "cry" after reading any of the responses here. I do have rather thick skin when it comes to criticisms of my work. If I didn't, then why would I have thrown my work into the proverbial lion's den?

The only reason I responded like I did was because I felt that it was Oberi's intention to criticize not "what" I had written, but to argue that I don't even have the right to make an attempt. But Perhaps, I misinterpreted his response and if I did then I am sincerely sorry.

The first episode of the series dropped us into berserk in a very unforgiving and confusing manor. It basically shows us post apocalypse Guts, his brand summoning spirits, floating images of a very cryptic God Hand, a green Beherit, and a fight with the Snake Baron Apostle. That is a HUGE amount of information to have thrown at you, especially since almost none of it becomes relevant in the anime until the very final episode, but it did give you a lot of questions which encouraged continued viewing. I was trying to accomplish nearly the same thing, Post Apoc. Guts, a Beherit, the God Hand, and A fight with an Apostle. Again, maybe the Anime is something I should not look towards as a model, but Miura did approve the script for it.

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Actually, though the anime excluded Puck and Guts' capture, it was surprisingly faithful to how the manga began- and I think it did right by it.

Unlike the count (which is what you started with), the snake baron is a completely one-dimensional character, displaying the pure evil of apostle-kind. He even says that he doesn't need a reason to be evil! Right from the get-go, the reader/viewer knows that these guys are scum. However, with the introduction of the count, you learn a great deal about how apostles get their power, you find out that these monsters do retain a minuscule fraction of their humanity (or at least it is possible to retain some). Basically, the count scene is infinitely more complex than the bout with the baron, further complicated by the introduction of the God Hand.

The moral of the story is that the Baron played a hell of an important role, and if a movie was made I think it would be wise to stick with it.

I misinterpreted his response and if I did then I am sincerely sorry.

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Apology accepted. Nah just kidding. Actually I thought your screenplay was a very well put together. I love writing screenplays and if I did one based on berserk material with some kind of movie trilogy format in mind, I have my own whole idea on how it should be. It's such a daunting task to put something together with material so sacred, and since we all think our way is the best, it's really just fanfiction, not too be taken to seriously. Why not try writing it as a novel? and we're not really sending it to Miura, imagine him getting all these screenplays from fans that think their script should be made into movies.

8GaugeBrett said:

In a way, I am trying to use the Anime series almost like a model for this first "act" of the movie, and maybe that's my first mistake.

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Yeah, I think so. Honestly their adaptation wasn't very good. It only worked in the limited format they went for, which didn't allow for a continuation beyond what they did and was overall pretty confusing. It left a lot of things unexplained and actually couldn't have explained them because of what it omitted; that's why most people go for the manga after they've watched it. And most importantly it's a rather poor and cheapened version of Berserk.

8GaugeBrett said:

I was trying to accomplish nearly the same thing, Post Apoc. Guts, a Beherit, the God Hand, and A fight with an Apostle. Again, maybe the Anime is something I should not look towards as a model, but Miura did approve the script for it.

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Sure Miura approved the script, but that doesn't mean it's a good model to follow or even that he was satisfied with the final result. The whole animated series was a compromise because Berserk in its entirety couldn't possible be shown on TV, keep that in mind. And Miura's involvement at the time was pretty limited too as far as I know. If you were going to make a full motion picture, I'd go for a real introduction, following the entire arc and mostly respecting the original pace (tweaking or removing small stuff here and there if needed but not touching important elements).

I can't really detail how I'd envision it right now, but I think it'd fit in 3 hours. The first hour or so would introduce Guts and have him fight the Snake Baron, then it'd transition to the part with the Count after having him fight the specters at night, which would eat up the rest (including the battles with Zondark and the final confrontation with the God Hand). The only thing I see posing some potential problem is the Demon Child, since he's mysterious at the time and nothing's explained about him. However it can be passed off as part of Guts' mysterious past so even that isn't a big problem.

i thought it was ok after reading it
but as stated earlier, taking things out of the story is not good for the berserk die hard fans.
I think for a story like berserk, it would be too hard to make into a movie due to its epic nature.
Berserk should just keep pumping out video games to please a wider audience as well as the hardcore fans in my opinion.

Honestly, I am quite partial to the anime as it was a catalyst for plummeting me into Berserk fandom. Now, yes it does pale in comparison to the manga, but is a very friendly start for the complete know-nothing. I can see how the fact that there is no Puck or Skullknight does make it infuriating to fans. If I were to give the anime one criticism it would be that. I do admire anyone's valiant effort to make a Berserk movie script. I would honestly love to see it on the silver screen even if I had to throw my popcorn around a bit. At least it would get more people interested in the series. Kinda like Transformers. Didn't dig a lot of what they did with it, but it has become my belovedly prissy cousin's favorite films and now we can talk about something fun together.

I Just finished reading it, It was interesting but you left out a lot of key elements. The ending is incomplete. You have gut's smiling and saying "come anytime" but you left out Gut's barely able to hold back his tears in the next frame. From a character development perspective imo that was the most important scene in the first arc. You have to show the audience that although Guts is very cold hearted on the outside, hes actually a very very wounded person on the inside. If your gonna aim for audiences that most likely have never even heard of Berserk. Your gonna want them to see the insane amounts of character depth. Make them feel for the characters.

Instead of looking only at the LOTR series you should take some ideas from movies like The count of Monte Cristo. Ok I'm done rambling for now.

It's a start.. and thats the important thing. Keep at it, I'm very interested in your future rewrites.

Berserk's 'greatness' is due to the sum of it's parts. Leaving out any, would risk problems, especially concerning pacing.

For me to picture the Berserk storyline in full film format, it would have to span several movies almost to the point of how many Harry Potter movies are out and spanning about 3 hrs each.

1st movie - the Black swordsman saga, up to the point Guts leaves the hawks and Griffith is captured.

2nd movie - Guts reuniting with the hawks, saving Griffith, encountering Wyald, the eclipse and up to the point of recieving the Dragon Slayer and leaving Caska.

3rd movie - continue Black Swordsman with Roshinu up to the point Griffith is incarnated.

And so on and so on.

There's just so many things to cover in the 'Berserk' mythos coupled with alot of important characters that I feel 1 movie won't be sufficient unless your willing to sacrifice pacing, story development and character development.

Please keep the conversation relegated to 8GaugeBrett's screenplay. This isn't the Berserk Movie thread.

That thread exists and is already quite long, don't bring all that in here.

Not even even 2 weeks after I started this little project I find out that I already have some BIG competition: Northrop Davis.

http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2007-11-27/california-university-offers-class-on-manga-publishing

While I think that this is a GOOD thing for Berserk, it really puts a damper on my spirits after having just finished an additional 20 pages of material. But if this guy has already sold James Cameron on a live-action Battle Angel Alita, then perhaps there really is room in Hollywood for movies based off a manga.

EDIT:
Oh and I think most of you will be happy to know that I've taken your advice and decided to start from the very beginning. That means for those of you who have read the screenplay already, you've pretty much read the final chapter of the movie. Now I've still gotta go back and right in Puck. However, I am not sold on a completely purist take on the story and will take a few creative liberties to make the characters feel a bit more "robust".

Well, that's news to me. Thanks for the link, 8GaugeBrett.

8GaugeBrett said:

Not even even 2 weeks after I started this little project I find out that I already have some BIG competition: Northrop Davis.

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Well, he's an actual professional and all, but has he done anything special other than pitching Gunnm to James Cameron? I mean, he's not even credited for the movie, it sounds like he only asked the Japanese licensor on behalf of Cameron. And as far as I remember, James Cameron himself always said he had wanted to release a Gunnm movie for years and never mentioned this guy at any point.

8GaugeBrett said:

While I think that this is a GOOD thing for Berserk, it really puts a damper on my spirits after having just finished an additional 20 pages of material.

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Don't be. First off, it's nothing more than an unconfirmed project at the moment, that hasn't been announced anywhere else than on the university this guy teaches at (advertising his course, too). Second, nowhere does it mention this being a movie project in the original announcement. It just talks about a remake of the TV series Densha Otoko, then adds "and Berserk".

Is it an adaptation or a remake too or what? Is it even supposed to be live action? The original announcement isn't clear at all on that point, and doesn't seem to particularly imply it. I don't see any reason for this to slow down your own effort. And let's be honest here, what's the chance any of us is going to get to make a Berserk movie anyway? Do it for the sport man. The satisfaction of a good script should be more than enough motivation.

8GaugeBrett said:

However, I am not sold on a completely purist take on the story and will take a few creative liberties to make the characters feel a bit more "robust".

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Well the trick is to change stuff that doesn't impact the core of the story, IMHO. Changes are fine when they're useful and superficial enough not to affect the story in a way that'd denature it.

Anyway, since there's already a thread dedicated to Davis' project, let's talk about it there and concentrate on your own script in here please.