Author Topic: Addiction  (Read 1911 times)

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Offline Oburi

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Addiction
« on: January 14, 2012, 10:19:34 AM »
Post your addictions. It can be anything. From the comical to the serious.

For me it's more serious and the reason I feel i can comfortably talk about it now is because it's all in the past. As most probably don't know I struggled with serious opiate addiction from 2006 to July of 2011. I can now happily say that for almost six months now I've been clean as a whistle and I'll never go back. But for over five years that wasn't the case. It started off with taking some vicoden or oxycontin for fun once in a while. Before long it was every day. In the last 3 years before I managed to quit it was a daily routine of crushing up 80mg oxy and snorting it with 2 mgs xanax every morning and again later if I could afford it. I was spending at least $60 a day most of the week. I figured I spent well over 10 grand in my last few years.

I know this is graphic but talking about it helps and i really don't have many people to openly talk to about it other than close friends and family, but sometimes they aren't always available. Anyway, the reason I decided to quit (which seemed completely out of the question for years) was because several bad things happened to people I know. A fiend and co-worker was fired for it, a person who I dealt with died of an accidental overdose and a good friend of mine was arrested and sent to prison. All these terrible things happened quickly to people around me and keep in mind I'm a very nerdy, very white kid from the suburbs of New England. I haven't had a very hard life, so stuff like this is pretty intense for me. So i finally decided to quit and with a lot of moral and emotional support I stocked up on vitamins, medicines and supplements to help with withdrawal. Since July I haven't touched the stuff. In fact I haven't smoked or even drank (except a glass of champagne or wine) since. It's all a thing of the past as far as I'm concerned. Living a pill free life is so strange since it was something that I had lived with daily for almost 6 years.

Quitting wasn't easy but what was harder was actually getting the motivation and determination to want to quit in the first place. Even now that I'm free though, I still get intense cravings at least once or twice a week. I've been told it might never go away. I still take suboxin which is something like a fake opiate that blocks the receptors in the brain so that even if I gave in and used again it would be ineffective. It's not as dangerous but it's still something I'd like to not have to take twice a week (plus it tastes gross. You have to keep it under your tongue to dissolve). But like I said talking helps and if anyone else ever has or is going through something like this please be comfortable asking questions or discussing. I'm pretty much an expert on the subject.

This is a different topic than usual on these boards and if the admins feel it's inappropriate I understand. I just really felt like talking about it. But like I said share any of your addictions of any sort.

Offline Aazealh

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Re: Addiction
« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2012, 12:50:29 PM »
I glad you managed to quit, since to be honest it made you a loser in my opinion. So heartfelt congratulations in that regard, and now that you don't have this burden keeping you down I'm sure you can look forward to a much brighter future. I'm proud of you.

As for me, I don't have any addictions. There isn't anything in my life I couldn't do without if I had to.

Offline NightCrawler

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Re: Addiction
« Reply #2 on: January 14, 2012, 01:45:18 PM »
No coffee, no smoking, no drinking (only socially), no gambling. Sometimes excess is good though. Excess in moderation.
The only thing i think i'm addicted to is the rush of risk. Fortunately, i've always escaped unharmed. But it's not something i pursue anyway.
Berserk isn't really "dark fantasy" either. It's plain fantasy
Miura has been very protective of Berserk

Offline Gobolatula

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Re: Addiction
« Reply #3 on: January 14, 2012, 02:12:23 PM »
I feel for you, Oburi. I definitely definitely feel for you. And I'm glad to hear you quit.

There were a lot of dumb things I was doing for a good while. Things that were fucking my life up big time. I quit them one after another over the course of a few years.

Most recently, I quit smoking cigarettes like 3 months ago. It's true what they say, at least for me: quitting smoking is harder than quitting anything else. Probably due to how easy it is to buy and how convenient it is. You can smoke anywhere: in your back yard, on your way to work in your car, at work, walking down the street, etc. I would smoke at any opportunity I had. It's kind of weird how I quit. A friend at work started smoking those electronic cigarettes. I thought, "Hey, my throat and lungs are fucked up. I'll switch to these 100% safe e-cigs!" I "smoked" that for about a week, then found out that apparently there's cancer-causing bullshit in the e-cigarettes too. At that point I just stopped. It was hard getting past all the crazy mood swings, but now I'm back to just the right amount of angry.

Now I gotta quit twinkies.

Offline The Beast of Darkness

Re: Addiction
« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2012, 02:53:25 PM »
Glad that you quit this shit, Oburi.
I have many acquaintances who continue to take drugs... But hopefully, I never followed this path.

So I don't have any addictions on my side as well, no coffee, no drugs, no drinking (very rarely), absolutely nothing.
I'm not complaining but let's be honest, life can be hard sometimes so there is no need of anything to complicate it even more.

Edit: Not really an addiction but more a bad habit to me. The only thing that I quitted is meat! It's been five years and I'm proud! :serpico:
« Last Edit: January 14, 2012, 03:04:41 PM by The Beast of Darkness »

Offline Vampire_Hunter_Bob

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Re: Addiction
« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2012, 02:56:27 PM »
I quit smoking back in October 2009 (thanks tonsillitis!) and as of a year from that day I get nauseous when I do smoke. Getting sick was really the best thing ever, considering I have no urges for smoking anymore. Personally I wouldn't smoke the e-cigarets because of how close they are to the real thing. Keep up the good work Gobolatula and Oburi!

Also I'm addicted to bacon and have no intention of stoping.  :schnoz:

Offline Miracles

Re: Addiction
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2012, 03:51:26 PM »
I'm not sure if it counts, but Cola seems to be my vice. I can drink them like a fish breathes water, and when I look at all the stuff that goes into making those drinks, I really start wondering whether it's worth it. I don't seem to have a problem going without it of course, but I'm hard pressed to pass up the chance to have some when possible.

Offline Proj2501

Re: Addiction
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2012, 06:10:33 PM »
Wow. I'm happy you put that addiction's mouth on the curb Oburi. Cheers.

I used to drink too much in the past. Blacked out regularly and woke up one time in the ER. That was before. Now, when I drink, I do it responsibly. At first I felt made me look like a pussy. Then, after a few outings with friends and coworkers, not being the one habitually trashed made me feel in control. Even the past holidays, I capped out at 3 glasses of scotch with consuming generous amounts of food. In the last 2 years, I got sick once and it reminded me just how much I hate hurling into a toilet for hours.

I was definitely addicted to weight loss for a time. I was super fat. Like 260 lbs. I lost 100 lbs in a totally normal, healthy way. Diet, exercise. Period. Built muscle and was looking like a completely different person. Then I began to obsess over the number on the scale. Wanting to lose 2 more pounds became wanting to lose 30 more. I'm 5'9" and when I hit 139 lbs from eating less than 400 calories a day, everything began to go wrong. Any muscle I built was lost and I seriously was approaching Christian Bale's look in the Machinist. Mood swings caused a good deal of grief to myself and those around me at the time.

How I got over it, I really don't know. I think surrounding yourself with the right people helps. I haven't weighed myself for almost a year and half now. I say I'm in the 160s. I run 6 miles, 6 days a week and watch what I eat. Waste is a 32 and that I can manage without being compulsive, at all. If I eat a cheese burger. Fuck it. If I feel puffy, I just eat salads for a few weeks until I feel good. Not rocket science. Life should be enjoyed.

It takes will sometimes not to reach for another few glasses or even to see what I really weigh. I know myself. I know my weaknesses. However, like you, I'm happy that I overcame them. It pays to live life in a healthy way and not be stupid, no matter what it's about. Keep up the good work man!

Group hug?   :ubik:

I am addicted to my coffee and fuck everyone, I'm not giving it up! That is, until I get an ulcer.  :ganishka:

Offline Oburi

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Re: Addiction
« Reply #8 on: January 26, 2012, 09:52:15 PM »
Wow proj, congrats man! I wouldn't think twice about giving you a hug :serpico: Honestly, I can't imagine you ever being overweight because from what I've seen you look great and healthy. With my job I'm pretty much on my feet for 10 hours a day so i get a natural workout, which is good because I hate working out on my own. Also doesn't hurt that I have the metabolism of a humming bird. I can eat anything want and never gain an once, for now at least. I'm sure that'll change with age.

Quote
am addicted to my coffee and fuck everyone, I'm not giving it up! That is, until I get an ulcer.

I drink redbull sometimes, usually 4 days a week. Probably the worst thing I do now. I only sip it too and make it last several hours since drinking it all at once gives me the jitters. If I didn't dislike coffee so much I'd drink that but since I do it's redbull for now.

Offline Viral Harvest

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Re: Addiction
« Reply #9 on: February 02, 2012, 09:46:11 PM »
It makes me really happy when people take control of their lives and purge themselves of any substances they might find themselves addicted to.

On that note, completely sober for 11 years this coming May.
"If I could strike one blow to spite their force, though I might bear one hundred more, I would wear the welts like rubies, and the shackles for a crown. And if I had one hundred hearts I would throw them all before their bullets before I'd sell a single one to wield their power. So lest we fall out of love with life, let us give all we have to give - for only a fool would cling to this world."

Offline NightCrawler

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Re: Addiction
« Reply #10 on: February 03, 2012, 09:35:47 AM »
I'm not sure if it counts, but Cola seems to be my vice. I can drink them like a fish breathes water, and when I look at all the stuff that goes into making those drinks, I really start wondering whether it's worth it. I don't seem to have a problem going without it of course, but I'm hard pressed to pass up the chance to have some when possible.

Berserk isn't really "dark fantasy" either. It's plain fantasy
Miura has been very protective of Berserk

Offline Seiren

Re: Addiction
« Reply #11 on: February 04, 2012, 06:24:11 AM »
Oburi, I have to say I am so very proud of you for coming over this huge boulder that was in your life.  It shows how strong of a person you are to be able to finally say enough is enough and quit.  I know it wasn't easy (it wasn't easy for me to watch either) and I will never understand how hard it is for you to have that nagging voice wanting it, but for each day that passes that you refuse it just makes me love and respect you that much more.  I don't think it makes you a "loser" for being addicted to pills it was just the struggle you had to over come in your life.  Everyone has their own battles and this was yours. 

I know that talking about your addiction is hard but by posting this it shows how proud you are of yourself.  I feel like that's the best gift of all that you could have received from overcoming this, your sense of pride as well as your health.  Just know that no matter what I am here for you but most of all CONGRATULATIONS!