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Topics - Tristram

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Shootin' the Breeze / Whargoul: A Web Novel by Dave Brockie of Gwar
« on: August 02, 2006, 09:46:25 PM »
A pretty cool novel, for free, on the internet, written by one of the founding members of my favorite band.

I came up with the idea for Whargoul while touring Europe with GWAR in 1995. Over the next few
years I dribbled out my first novel, working in spurts of activity broken up with indeterminable
months of wallowing. At one point I lost the hand-written original manuscript and had to re-write it
from memory! The Whargoul project is my own personal hell-park in which my imagination is totally
unfettered, and my lust for war is at last fulfilSince finishing the book in 1999, I have been trying
to find someone to help me publish it, but so far nothing has been worked out and in fact my forays
into the world of horror and fantasy publishing have gotten me nowhere,despite the lame promises
given to me by many. I'll continue my search until I find a literary agent who really wants to help me
and not just blow smoke up my ass. But I couldn't stand to leave something I had worked so hard on
just rotting on my hard drive. So here's the whole damn thing for free.
It's about 160 pages if you want to print it out.

Shootin' the Breeze / What if Berserk was about Pizza?
« on: March 20, 2006, 02:49:40 AM »

Shootin' the Breeze / The unholy alliance of breakfast cereals
« on: March 20, 2006, 02:42:23 AM »
i just made a cup of cereal with both applejacks AND capn crunch and it is brutally raping my tastebuds with its awesome flavor

Shootin' the Breeze / Thought I'd come out of my hole to post this...
« on: September 26, 2005, 05:19:11 PM »

Guts and Griffith Forever!!!

Character Cove / Guts, the lost puppy?
« on: August 09, 2005, 03:29:01 PM »
I was thinking about a thread here on the front of this section, talking about Guts purpose for leaving the Hawks and Griffith.  Now people say it's because he wanted to have his own dream so that he could be Griffith's equal/surpass him but...  That seems an awful lot like Guts is just desperate for a friend.  Especially after overhearing the conversation with Princess Charlotte (?) he got all fat and depressed (I dont mean that literally).  Anyways I know Guts isn't the sharpest tool in the shed but that makes me think of kind of a lost puppy or something the way Guts ran off because he thought it would make Griffith like him more as a friend.  What do you guys think?  I hate to just say Guts is a moron but it still is easy to point out he's not a poet, artisan, or scholar.  He's a WARRIOR!

Shootin' the Breeze / PS2+(GCN)>X-Bawks
« on: August 09, 2005, 03:19:13 PM »
I know I'm a bit late on this stuff but I hadn't played the X-Box ever until recently.  Really I think it breaks down like this... PS2 while not having the absolute best graphics(space invaders and pacman are still fun...) has the widest library of titles made directly for it and the most extras.  Think about it, RE4 you get a chainsaw, SoulCalbur II you get Spawn, and there are just countless other extras in the shpeal (mostly from capcom).

Anyways up next is Gamecube.  Yes it's purple, but at least it is affordable, has a good library of super fun games including lots of "non-kiddy" ones.  Resident Evil 4 (and the RE1 remake), Metal Gear Solid: Twin Snakes(MGS remake), Eternal Darkness, Pikmin (well okay I guess it's kiddy but shit thats a violent game in it's own right).  Anyways you get my point, and also it has Super Smash Bros. Melee, best fighting/platformer hybrid ever.

Now onto the X-Bawks.  I dont have anything against Microsoft or even the system itself.  This system like the 2 new handhelds have great potential but just doesn't seem to have gone the distance to use it for more then pretty graphics.  Let me break it down for you.  The controller blows ass.  Even the remake of it.  Why do I need a giant non-functioning green X-Bawks button in the middle?  Would have been better to put a start/select button pair there.  Also all of the ports to this system are awful (San Andreas on PS2 is much easier to control... other then that nothing much, the remake of Sons of Liberty on this was fairly clunky also but it did have some extras which made up for it kind of).  About the only redeeming quality of the X-Bawks is it's good online capability, shooting games (halo and halo2), sports games, and ability to put in your own soundtrack.  The hard drive seems a bit unnecesary to me, though.  I think 1 gig would be fine, who the hell needs 5?  Buy a memory card, stupid, a 5 gig HD makes the x-box big and fat and retarded. 

Well... anyways, lets get some input here; Also on the next generation systems.  I'll probably get the Revolution so I can throw out my N64, NES, SNES, and Gamecube and have it all in one teeny weeny silver box.  Plus it's planned to sell at less then 200 USD so that makes my wallet happy

 :void: <---Ass on his head.

Shootin' the Breeze / Resident Evil 4... a hybrid?
« on: August 09, 2005, 03:03:59 PM »
I love this game tons but you know what it reminds me of?  Sword of the Berserk on Dreamcast (with the Mandragora parasites that take ovewr people's minds but mutate them into being super strong) and Metal Gear solid (minus the sneaking... but... you should know what I mean).

Also in some ways it remidns me of The Faculty because weren't the parasites in that (very stupid, awful) movie sensitive to light?  Cool game anyways, I heard in PS2 version you can get a chainsaw.

uh... PAC MAN!!!
o  o  o  o  o  o  o  o  o  o  :chomp:

Creation Station / Zodd without Armor, NSFW
« on: May 22, 2005, 09:33:28 PM »
Now safe for work, but it's not overly lewd.  Just something you dont want your boss to catch you peeking at.

Also, I'd like to have kind of a captions contest in this thread.

In this format...

Zodd: "I say something"
Guts: "I say something back!"


Guts: "Blah!"
Zodd: "<insert witty repartee>"

Speculation Nation / The Godhand Members' Roles
« on: May 22, 2005, 08:23:52 AM »
Simply put I think they somehow represent sins or something like that, even though there is only 5 of them and not 7.

Void- Wrath...?

Femto- Greed, Pride

Slan- Lust, Envy

Conrad-Gluttony, Slothfullness

Ubik- Homosexuality... haha just kidding.  Wait, no... really...  Actually Ubik is very mysterious to me.

What does anyone else think? Any ideas?  Also, while we get some sort of background (sort of) to Void, we have so far got nothing on Slan, Ubik, and Conrad?

Any decent theories on those 3?

Creation Station / 3D DragonSlayer, by me
« on: May 21, 2005, 08:51:29 PM »
I used this great game called Second Life that allows you to create your own 3D items with a built-in design program.  It's lots of fun to play with, and I was telling Aazy I should make a DragonSlayer... so I did!
Here is the step-by-step of me building it...

It looks kind of small, but then again the guy holding the sword (he's my avatar) is 230cm (about 7'8"?) in the game.

Shootin' the Breeze / Sammy has gone out of it's mind.
« on: May 14, 2005, 03:33:26 AM »

Watch this and you will understand.

Plus what is up with the being renamed to Moonbeam Studios or some such BS?

Berserk Miscellaneous / Comics like Berserk (without being ripoffs)
« on: May 04, 2005, 10:31:57 AM »
I was scooting around looking for webcomics to make fun of when I thought I found a comedy goldmine, a furry comic about the angsty early years of a twin brother and sister.

What I thought was going to be a furry "yiff-fest" and lots of inside jokes that the author failed to realise make no sense to anyone else turned out to be one of those comics that hits me somewhere between the eyes because of the sad realism in it's character development.

Much like Berserk the development starts at an early age (though in this comic it is in chronological order).

Not saying the antagonist of the story is just like Guts or that the comic in general is just like Berserk, but I am saying that the comic is much like Berserk in that it is a work in progress that so far seems like all it is about is getting kicked in the face, then getting up to be happy for a while... then get kicked in the face again.

Anyone know of any other comics like this?  Neon Genesis Evangelion also comes to mind, though it was a lot more angsty then Berserk (though in my oppinion thats about how 14 year olds would act if they were suddenly given that kind of a burden).

The comic I am talking about in this pst, by the way, is Better Days, found at the link below.  Read it from the first strip forward and you should be hooked.  (Try to ignore that it uses furry characters :P)

By the way, if you do know of any other Berserk-like comics (or just good/recomended comics in general) go ahead post'em below!

Shootin' the Breeze / Gwar vs. The Godhand
« on: April 08, 2005, 05:43:03 PM »

In Gwar's corner:
Oderus Urungus
Weapon: 8 foot long Death-Sword, Cuttlefish of Cthulu
Strength:  Cannot die
Weakness: Passing out in a drunken stupor, Acne

Flattus Maximus
Weapon: Toxic Fumes
Strength: Extremely toxic fumes
Weakness: Incontinence, can't read, can't write

Balsac the Jaws of Death
Weapon: Battle-Axe, Beartrap for a head
Strength: Beartrap for a head
Weakness: Doesn't really like fighting and killing, just does it because Oderus makes him

Beefcake the Mighty
Weapon: Roman Gladius
Strength: King of Shit Mountain
Weakness: Is a fat-ass

Jizzmak the Gusha
Weapon: Stone-Hammer
Strength: Can wipe his own ass
Weakness: Passes out after violent episodes of rage

In the God-Hand's corner...

Weapon: Creates voids
Strength: Godhand Apostle
Weakness: Exposed Brain; Prone to Gangrine

Weapon: Sexy Ass
Strength: Sexy Ass
Weakness: Female

Weapon: Tentacles
Strength: Able to float upside down
Weakness: Fat-Ass

Weapon: Stupid Laugh
Strength: Able to kill millions with a single chuckle
Weakness: Even more of a fat-ass then Ubik, and can't even float around.


Berserk Miscellaneous / Berserk as a musical.
« on: March 21, 2005, 06:49:22 PM »
Stranger things have happened (such as the Silence of the Lambs musical, and Moulan Rouge).

I want to see what songs you think would work well.  If you cant think of any, make one up yourself?

So far I can think of...

"Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child", Harry Burleigh, Sang by the demon fetus birthed by Casca.

A sweaty ballad of "It's Raining Men", Weathergirls, sung by Griffith when he aquires Guts as a member of the Hawks.  It would need to be modified maybe just to "It's Raining Guts".

"The Loveshack", B52s, sang by Wild, still in prison, describing his lifestyle.  Instead of saying his car is as big as a whale, he could say his pride and joy is of a similar size.

... I hope everyone likes this idea, and adds more ideas!

Speculation Nation / Sacrifice the Dragonslayer
« on: March 04, 2005, 03:25:17 AM »
I tend to not be for the whole idea that Guts will use the Beherit...  but if he were to makea sacrifice, dont you think his sword would be marked?  I am not sure if the limit to sacrifices is to be something alive, but there have been so many surprises in what can and cant be a sacrifice that I am always unsure what the limit is. 

I never thought an apostle could be branded or vice versa, yet there was the Beherit apostle.

Anyways, let's just say it was possible for a non-living object to be sacrificed.  Do you think the DS would be a candidate for sacrifice, and if so what do you think would happen to it?  Would it then become stronger from existing the interstice as Guts does?  Since it has a certain form of power attained from slaying apostles, would it somehow gain a conciessness?  Does the sword already have a conciessness?

I know alot of this is weird, but I think in many ways the Dragonslayer should be considered a character in itself, despite it's lack of life or personality, the same way I consider the Beherit a character that seems to practice having a will and a purpose.

Character Cove / The Moonlight Boy
« on: February 14, 2005, 06:02:45 PM »
I did a search on this and couldn't find anything on it in here, so...

Who do you think the mysterious child that Casca found on the beach really is?

My ideas are this...
*The elf king (I'm sure many have thought this?)

*Some other spiritual entity thats taking the form og Guts' and Casca's ideal child.
(am I the only one to think the child bears much resemblance to Casca?)

Shootin' the Breeze / Gwar is FREAKING AWESOME
« on: February 13, 2005, 06:38:01 AM »
I just got back from their concert and got covered in likely gallons of blood.

This is how I looked before the concert....

This is how I looked AFTERWARDS

For anyone who has never gone to their concert, its the bloodiest most awesome thing ever.  They kill all sorts of celebrities on stage and wear these huge mutant space barbarian costumes.  It was awesome. :D

Speculation Nation / Guts' right eye.
« on: February 12, 2005, 10:06:45 PM »
I was looking back through the manga to re-read the parts with the Beherit Apostle, and came across a part where Guts' says, "I cant forget, by my right eye's last sight!"

Is that final image burnt into his retina?  (well I mean I know he doesn't have a retina there anymore... but do you understand what I mean?)

Does he ALWAYS see that?  It could explain why he never gives up... because most people would eventually just calm down and give up, but...  if you saw it every waking moment, could you EVER calm down or forget?

But yeah thats my question:
Is that image burnt in like a photograph because it was his right eye's last sight?

Berserk Miscellaneous / What is the least likely ending to Berserk?
« on: February 12, 2005, 05:45:10 AM »
I am trying to be serious with this.  No "Guts pulls out a gun and shoots Griffith in the face." crap.

Well... meh.  Just post whatever you want.  Make it fun :D

Berserk Miscellaneous / How much do you think Guts' sword weigh?
« on: February 11, 2005, 04:24:20 AM »
I suppose it'd be lame if I answered my own question since I went ahead and did some calculations assuming Guts' sword's length, width, depth, and material composition.

I say 6 feet long, 20 inches wide, and 3 inches deep.
Also I assume its made of some form of steel.

What do you guys think?

I came up with it being 580 kilograms mass... so that'd easily be over 1000 pounds weight on earth.  Okay I am lame.  Regardless, I want you guys to give your input perhaps relating to my error if their is any.

Holy crap thats a big sword...  I mean 580 kilograms.  If that thing were NEVER SHARPENED, the inertia of it being swung so fast could cleave through sheets of metal.

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