Author Topic: Duke Nukem Forever...  (Read 36924 times)

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Offline Madam President

Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #175 on: January 24, 2011, 03:33:38 PM »
Sweet! So it wasn't just rumor I heard! :guts:  Well, gents, I'm off to place this on my Game Fly queue!

Offline Eluvei

Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #176 on: February 09, 2011, 04:50:49 PM »

Offline Oburi

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #177 on: February 09, 2011, 05:06:05 PM »
Haha, very eagerly awaiting this release.

Offline Aphasia

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #178 on: March 24, 2011, 12:53:25 PM »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VFFR-5a-Ko&feature=player_embedded

....Hahaha.  I hope you like your Vaporware with a side of troll! :troll:

Offline Griffith

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #179 on: March 24, 2011, 05:02:21 PM »
Top Comment:
Quote from: Charl3z523
Notice how they don't specify the year. They got all the time they need....

Yep.

Offline Walter

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #180 on: June 03, 2011, 09:59:57 PM »
The demo is out for those who bought Borderlands. I just finished it. It feels like a game from the late 90s, crammed forcefully into modern day, without any of the polish that we've grown accustomed to. And that has nothing to do with the graphics. There's a lack of polish in all aspects of this game -- animation, level design, the feel of the weapons, I could go on and on.  Scripted sequences don't bother hiding themselves. You get stuck in ridiculously long animation sequences in first person, as Duke dusts himself off after a fall, or tightening his gloves after snapping a pig cop's neck. In the roughly hour-long demo, there are two driving sequences -- one in Duke's monster truck, and one in a fucking minecart, ala Donkey Kong Country. The guns don't feel powerful. The hit detection is weak, so it feels like you're shooting peas against a concrete wall. There is no mighty boot, at least in the demo.

It is terrible. This game should not exist. And this comes from a fan who's followed this game's development throughout all the years of its delay, and was even a member of the 3DRealms forum (walterbennet). I'm not trolling on Duke. Duke is trolling on us.
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Offline Aphasia

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #181 on: June 03, 2011, 10:47:54 PM »
The demo is out for those who bought Borderlands. I just finished it. It feels like a game from the late 90s, crammed forcefully into modern day, without any of the polish that we've grown accustomed to. And that has nothing to do with the graphics. There's a lack of polish in all aspects of this game -- animation, level design, the feel of the weapons, I could go on and on.  Scripted sequences don't bother hiding themselves. You get stuck in ridiculously long animation sequences in first person, as Duke dusts himself off after a fall, or tightening his gloves after snapping a pig cop's neck. In the roughly hour-long demo, there are two driving sequences -- one in Duke's monster truck, and one in a fucking minecart, ala Donkey Kong Country. The guns don't feel powerful. The hit detection is weak, so it feels like you're shooting peas against a concrete wall. There is no mighty boot, at least in the demo.

It is terrible. This game should not exist. And this comes from a fan who's followed this game's development throughout all the years of its delay, and was even a member of the 3DRealms forum (walterbennet). I'm not trolling on Duke. Duke is trolling on us.

None of this really surprises me.  Sales are going to cruise on the Duke Nukem name.  For some reason I still want to play it even after reading your description.  Maybe that will change when I play it myself.

Offline Aazealh

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #182 on: June 04, 2011, 06:29:11 AM »
It is terrible. This game should not exist. And this comes from a fan who's followed this game's development throughout all the years of its delay, and was even a member of the 3DRealms forum (walterbennet). I'm not trolling on Duke. Duke is trolling on us.

I'm much less of a Duke fan than you and yet somehow this still saddens me (and that's coming from someone who never believed in DNF being released before Gearbox picked it up). I didn't expect the game to be a masterpiece, but I at least expected it to be decent by modern standards. Guess I'll pick it up in 5 years for $1.99 in a Steam sale for curiosity's sake.

Offline Oburi

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #183 on: June 04, 2011, 03:21:15 PM »
Man this is depressing. I wasn't even expecting it to be that great but as long as it was fun and funny I would not minded preordering it. I was planning on beating it in one or two days anyway and returning it for trade in value but now I'm thinking I should have waited and bought it used so I could get a full refund. I literally paid off the rest of the game mere hours after Walters post, which certainly would have altered my decision.

god dammit.

Offline Walter

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #184 on: June 04, 2011, 10:58:36 PM »
I literally paid off the rest of the game mere hours after Walters post, which certainly would have altered my decision.
I appreciate the vote of confidence, but you don't have to take my word for it. If you can put up with this moron chirping in your ear throughout the clip, you can watch a playthrough of the entire demo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wY0-6IE21ZM
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Offline Eluvei

Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #185 on: June 05, 2011, 01:10:24 AM »
I agree with Walter, this is really awful. It's probably the worst demo I've ever played, and I played the Dragon Age II demo.

Offline Griffith

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #186 on: June 05, 2011, 02:15:42 AM »
I, for one, think it's a fitting end. I'm actually looking forward to it MORE now. So bad it's good.

Offline Aphasia

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #187 on: June 05, 2011, 02:23:43 AM »
I, for one, think it's a fitting end. I'm actually looking forward to it MORE now. So bad it's good.

The question is...Is it so bad it's actually just bad?  Haha.  I watched the demo video and it actually looks better than what I expected.  I'm just surprised there's something here that resembles a game at all.

Offline Walter

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #188 on: June 05, 2011, 06:23:52 AM »
The question is...Is it so bad it's actually just bad?  Haha.  I watched the demo video and it actually looks better than what I expected.  I'm just surprised there's something here that resembles a game at all.
Yes, it is technically a game. You press buttons and things happen on screen. And yes, you can pick up poop in a toilet and throw it around the room. Though how anyone could derive any enjoyment from this glued-together trash heap is beyond me.
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Offline Saephon

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #189 on: June 05, 2011, 02:55:34 PM »
I have to admit, as someone who has never cared about the DNF fiasco, I was half-hoping it would suck hard. That always seemed to be the best outcome to me, for a game with such a development history. But it's probably just me being immature and finding amusement in the collective disappointment in millions of fans.
Saephon:  Being tired of your disingenuous assertions since 2183.

Offline Oburi

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #190 on: June 05, 2011, 06:01:15 PM »
Funny story. I went back to the local gamestop to move my pre-order from DNF to Alice but the guy working there was such a Duke fanboy that we cut a deal. Ill split the preorder between the two games for now and he gives me the demo for DNF.  I'm going to go play it now and see just how bad it is for meself.

Offline Griffith

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #191 on: June 05, 2011, 11:09:17 PM »
Well, I wanted to see this for myself and after jumping through a hundred idiotic hoops I managed to procure a copy of the demo, and... WOW, did that suck! Trust me Oburi, put that pre-order money on anything else. This demo is worse than the leaked Doom 3 alpha. The idea of Duke Nukem Forever, idealized as good or bad, is better than what this game actually is, which is an embarrassingly underwhelming mess, especially amid how overwhelming it's pretending to be.

Even the opening credits and logos are somewhat lame and repetitive. First, there's the stylized (read: half-assed) retrospective self-indulgently celebrating Duke Nukem 3D from start to finish, I'm not even kidding. The irony of this after 15 years is apparently as lost on Gearbox as 3D realms, and will only get worse as the game progresses. After that you can start the game, the screen goes black and you hear Duke talk about alien payback for his ride getting shot up (wait, we already did the Duke 3D masturbatory recap, is this DNF or am I actually playing Duke Nukem 3D again? I'll wish I was). The opening credits start BUMPING to the beat of the theme's drums because, HOLY SHIT, something huge is happening here, right? This includes shamefully/lessly(?) printing the "It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum... and I'm all out of gum" line they ripped off from They Live. Is this such a point of pride they needed it before the title? Anyway, they do the unimpressive American flag with "DUKE NUKEM" falling in front of it for about the third time here, and I'm already feeling what a mishmashed mess this is from a presentation standpoint.

It opens in the bathroom, with Duke pissing, besides that, the controls feel clunky and terrible. You can pick up poop, throw it, pick it up again, and Duke will comment how gross it all is, ho ho. I tried to screencap an image of Duke holding a piece of poop in a broken mirror to sum it all up, but like everything else here, this failed. You wander around, you can interact with things on a most basic level in their own unique animation or setup, like writing on the white board. The NPCs all say BS randomly and you can't talk to them or interact in any meaningful way. The superficial stuff you can interact with, like a drinking fountain, are such asides unto themselves that it only serves to highlight how truly un-interactive this environment really is. This is stuff that wouldn't have been very innovative if Duke Forever came out two years after 3D. Anyway, you really are just playing Duke 3D because after wandering around aimlessly for a while in a mock an alien invasion, you fight the boss on the football field, beat it by strafing around it in circles, and kick its head through the field goal again, which they had already just recreated in the opening montage before recreating it for you to play again here. So far they've managed to poorly update material from Duke Nukem 3D.

The flag logo appears yet again and we pan out to reveal Duke playing in his Scarface-like mansion with anachronistic mature sluts in school girl uniforms blowing him. I feel like Duke is more a bikini babe type, but apparently he fancies himself a child molester now. It certainly feels like he's molesting my inner child. More bizarrely unaware self-aware talk about how the game is good, and it should be after 12 years. The real joke is that it's not, it's really bad (there's other jokes about it taking long enough, like "forever lol", but the painfully false implication is it's all good now). So, it's not just the gameplay, everything about this is out of date and there's seemingly not a good or original thought to be found. DNF's shelf life expired long before it reached the shelf.

Wally covered level 2 well enough, but I'll throw in some thoughts, you drive a truck that's right out of Twisted Metal 1 crossed with the Mako, but it feels like your moving a remote controlled car, after this lame but mercifully short sequence you actually get to do some real FPS gameplay. Well, the DNF equivalent. Feel's awful. If it wasn't so hard to die surely I'd be getting killed, but the AI is just as bad the controls in a little unintentional balance. The animation looks terrible BTW, the pigs move like shit. Carrying only 2 guns is a pain and retarded given that everything else is such a throwback; they shouldn't have bothered, it just makes it that much less fun and more painful. The level itself feels more like a giant zone where you wander around fighting randomly generated enemies. After a kill, Duke said, "If I promised to kill you last, I lied." Wow, that was quite a reach they made just for the sake of poorly ripping off a line from Commando. Fuck it, my favorite part from this area was watching the airship blow apart like it was a snap together model. The mine carts are bad of course, literally on rails, but my favorite thing in the whole demo maybe is when you first find a mine cart, glowing no less so you know it can be interacted with (ooooh!), and then you're instructed, "Duke can push wheeled physics objects through the world." That's my favorite line from the game; so bad it's good, baby. Anyway, it ends with a shitty trailer that we've all seen that got the same cheap laugh out of me it did the last time I saw it, when Duke emphatically declares, "I'd still hit it!" about a giant 3-boobed alien monster.

Save for a couple of unintentional comedy moments, this was so bad it was bad. DNF is nothing more than it is, the long delayed sequel to Duke Nukem 3D that should have come out over a decade ago (actually "sequel" is being kind, it's pretty much a bad remake of Duke 3D). It's not good objectively, it's not good subjectively, there's nothing in it to validate the wait, and there's not even any worthwhile additions from Duke Nukem 3D... as a matter of fact it somehow feels like there's less. In the end, the best thing you can say about is that it's a parody of itself.

The King is dead.


P.S. Told you so. :iva:

Offline Groovy Metal Fist

Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #192 on: June 07, 2011, 01:40:25 AM »
Your review brings up a lot of valid points, but you don't seem to be judging the game objectively so much as blasting every possible thing to gloat about your prediction.

Were the first few seconds for the opening title really so traumatizing that you needed to dedicate an entire paragraph for it? Is it really fair to compare Duke to a child molester because his babes, who clearly looked of appropriate age, were in schoolgirl outfits which normal grown adults dress in for fetishes all the time? And since when does a crappy demo amount to molesting your inner child? Even when Duke said something that made you laugh, you tried to spin it as a negative.

I saw the demo. The gameplay looked generic and the boss fights were not well done. I didn't like how he could defeat an alien space ship simply by moving in and out of cover and waiting for his health to regenerate. I did however think that the game was genuinely funny and I like the Duke character.

Offline Seņor Caudillo

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #193 on: June 07, 2011, 02:43:53 AM »
 I'm trying to stay optimistic about DNF, and just hope that the demo is merely taken from an early developmental stage of the game, and that the final finished version will be excellent. I mean, who knows maybe the game's production company deliberately allowed a crappy demo to leak, in order to surprise and awe the fans with the actual, final product when it hits the retail shelves.   

Offline Groovy Metal Fist

Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #194 on: June 07, 2011, 02:50:52 AM »
I'm trying to stay optimistic about DNF, and just hope that the demo is merely taken from an early developmental stage of the game, and that the final finished version will be excellent. I mean, who knows maybe the game's production company deliberately allowed a crappy demo to leak, in order to surprise and awe the fans with the actual, final product when it hits the retail shelves.   

The demo wasn't leaked; it was officially announced months in advance and pieces of that demo were showcased last year. Secondly, that would be a terrible marketing strategy.

Offline Seņor Caudillo

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #195 on: June 07, 2011, 03:05:40 AM »
The demo wasn't leaked; it was officially announced months in advance and pieces of that demo were showcased last year.

Thanks for correction  :guts:
I have given up on DNF several years ago, so I had stopped looking for news and updates altogether.

Secondly, that would be a terrible marketing strategy.

What, leaking the demo itself or bait and switching the fans with the (better) finished product?

Offline Groovy Metal Fist

Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #196 on: June 07, 2011, 03:15:53 AM »
What, leaking the demo itself or bait and switching the fans with the (better) finished product?

Both. If you have a product, promotional material like demos and trailers are supposed to make the game look better, not worse, than it actually is. If people thought the demo sucked, they would be less likely to buy the finished product and would trust their own bad experience with the game over the opinions of their friends or websites. In many cases, demos get extra polish and more densely packed and interesting content to signal to consumers that the game will be awesome. Releasing an intentionally terrible demo would be worse than nothing.

Offline Griffith

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #197 on: June 07, 2011, 07:09:33 AM »
Your review brings up a lot of valid points, but you don't seem to be judging the game objectively so much as blasting every possible thing to gloat about your prediction.

A reasonable assumption, but wrong. I was only reminded of those early posts by Walter after he read my review, so I added the links as a joke. Seems I unwittingly undermined my credibility on this subject though, from now on I'll address this with the seriousness it deserves.

Were the first few seconds for the opening title really so traumatizing that you needed to dedicate an entire paragraph for it?

No, egregiously lame and shameless, especially considering how crappy the product is, but not really so traumatic. In my defense I wrote that after completing the demo, so it represents my feelings about it in its entirety. Sorry if you were under the impression that was some kind of running diary.

Is it really fair to compare Duke to a child molester because his babes, who clearly looked of appropriate age, were in schoolgirl outfits which normal grown adults dress in for fetishes all the time?

You're right, that's not fair at all. I'm afraid I've libeled Duke Nukem. I sure hope he doesn't sue me, especially if he's already in court for plagiarism. Please relay my apologies in your next normal grown adult fan letter to Duke.

And since when does a crappy demo amount to molesting your inner child?

I was segueing to the fact Duke Nukem, something I enjoyed as child and my inner child still does, has been defiled by semantically tying the idea to the preceding corresponding metaphor. I.e. this awful incarnation of Duke Nukem is himself soiling my ideal of him. I'll put a shinier bow on it next time.

Even when Duke said something that made you laugh, you tried to spin it as a negative.

You're righ... wait, *checking* huh? It wasn't a cheap laugh? I guess I'll have take your word for it since you've already shown me how foolish a normal grown adult can be over Duke Nukem all the time. I didn't give that expertly crafted satire by the professional comedy writers at 3D Realms/Gearbox enough credit. I get it, Duke Nukem objectifies that alien monster with breasts like your average woman, making him more than your average misogynist. I am laughing out loud.

I saw the demo. The gameplay looked generic and the boss fights were not well done. I didn't like how he could defeat an alien space ship simply by moving in and out of cover and waiting for his health to regenerate.

Now there's a review worthy of the demo.

I did however think that the game was genuinely funny and I like the Duke character.

Thanks for clarifying, I could already tell you have a great sense of humor though.

Alright alright, enough of the dry wit (too late anyway?), the foreplay is over and it's time to get wet. Real wet! Duke Nukem's reign may be over, the king is dead, but long hail the King. I crown thee... DOUCHE JUICEM! :badbone:

Or not, because like this post, in my review I was just going over the top for effect, and because I haven't slept in 24 hours and the Skeletor portion of my avatar is coming out.

I'm trying to stay optimistic about DNF, and just hope that the demo is merely taken from an early developmental stage of the game, and that the final finished version will be excellent. I mean, who knows maybe the game's production company deliberately allowed a crappy demo to leak, in order to surprise and awe the fans with the actual, final product when it hits the retail shelves.
I have given up on DNF several years ago

Uh-huh. At least your confusion of grammatical tense is fitting.

What, leaking the demo itself or bait and switching the fans with the (better) finished product?

To reiterate Douche's point and give you your due, those ideas are equally terrible.


Goodnight, everybody. :griffnotevil:

Offline Vampire_Hunter_Bob

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #198 on: June 09, 2011, 01:42:41 PM »
This game does nothing for the "video games are art" argument.

Offline Viral Harvest

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Re: Duke Nukem Forever...
« Reply #199 on: June 12, 2011, 04:18:36 AM »
Played the full version a few nights ago. Looks like everyone beat me to the punch though, this game is pretty miserable. Still, I found myself enjoying whatever was left of Duke in his terminally-ill state.
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