Just finished watching it. Spoilers and impressions, ahoy.
So, that was a movie for morons, right? People that don't understand subtlety? It goes out of its way to bluntly state its themes and character motivations throughout, all of which are terrifyingly obvious well before the actors are forced to move their big dumb lips by strings pulled by a large-fisted Ridley Scott, whose desperate shadow looms over the movie throughout. Many scenes come across as insultingly stupid. The camera and cinematography even think we're idiots. And then after treating us like idiots, has to reiterate shit, and then treat us to a dramatic reveal.
My biggest trouble with this movie was expectations. And I don't mean to say that I was excited for it. I went in cold. What I mean is that they truly cannot divorce themselves from what it is: a prequel to the Aliens franchise. And on that note I found it quite stale. It bumbles around in a childlike imitation of its parents, the function of all of which was ... what exactly? The connection of this movie to the Alien franchise became akin to an annoying song playing in the background throughout, always there nagging at me, making it impossible for me to truly enjoy it for what it was. And all I remember of that tune is the chorus, which goes something like this: "Me tooooo!"
The first time anyone who has seen Alien/s sees the navigation room on board the 'engineers' ship, it's quite clear to any fucking idiot what it is. But no, we need to have some convenient holograms teach us what it is (that's some truly advanced exposition technology), and then for there to be a massive reveal to make sure every idiot in the theater realizes that this is THE SAME KIND as the one in Alien. Whoa! Who saw that coming?!
There are dozens of examples of the soft touch employed by Scott to convey key plot and character elements. Here are a few that stuck out to me as almost laughable:
Charlize Theron spelling out "father" to us. Gee, yeah, didn't pick up on that one.
The dramatic, bassy sound effect and close-up shot when David dips his finger in Holloway's drink. What?! Wh-what'd he do?!
Stringer Bell spelling it out for us in a very poorly placed scene that this was a biological weapons depot approximately 20 minutes after it was already strikingly obvious. Oh, snap!
"Hey robot guy. Fuck you. You're just a dumb robot made by humans." -- "Oh? Well what if aliens made you and you're a dumb robot too? Just with flesh?" -- "I never thought of it like that..!" UNTAPPED SCIFI POTENTIAL!
The final scene of the xenomorph chewing its way out of the engineer. Xenomorphs?! Here?! (I had a great audience by the way! after this scene, the guy next to me whispered to his girlfriend: "It's an Alien from Aliens vs. Predator." On the walk out, guys behind me: "So that was a prequel to Aliens vs Predator? Whoa!")
Need I even go into the absurdity of the 5 minute c-section after which she's able to run around the ship? Oh, right, that's covered by the fact that it's a super-expensive laboratory pod.
*Sigh* ... So, final impressions. Was it terrible? No, not really. Would have been a pretty standard movie if it were a standalone scifi. But it's not. It is inevitably going to be compared and contrasted with the quality of the rest of the franchise. So then, was it embarrassing, and a letdown for any Alien fans expecting something significant enough to warrant a return to the franchise? Yes.
Oh yeah, and spoiling the climax of the film in your movie poster? Nice fucking job.
My biggest trouble with this movie was expectations. And I don't mean to say that I was excited for it. I went in cold. What I mean is that they truly cannot divorce themselves from what it is: a prequel to the Aliens franchise. And on that note I found it quite stale. It bumbles around in a childlike imitation of its parents, the function of all of which was ... what exactly? The connection of this movie to the Alien franchise became akin to an annoying song playing in the background throughout, always there nagging at me, making it impossible for me to truly enjoy it for what it was. And all I remember of that tune is the chorus, which goes something like this: "Me tooooo!"
The first time anyone who has seen Alien/s sees the navigation room on board the 'engineers' ship, it's quite clear to any fucking idiot what it is. But no, we need to have some convenient holograms teach us what it is (that's some truly advanced exposition technology), and then for there to be a massive reveal to make sure every idiot in the theater realizes that this is THE SAME KIND as the one in Alien. Whoa! Who saw that coming?!
There are dozens of examples of the soft touch employed by Scott to convey key plot and character elements. Here are a few that stuck out to me as almost laughable:
Charlize Theron spelling out "father" to us. Gee, yeah, didn't pick up on that one.
The dramatic, bassy sound effect and close-up shot when David dips his finger in Holloway's drink. What?! Wh-what'd he do?!
Stringer Bell spelling it out for us in a very poorly placed scene that this was a biological weapons depot approximately 20 minutes after it was already strikingly obvious. Oh, snap!
"Hey robot guy. Fuck you. You're just a dumb robot made by humans." -- "Oh? Well what if aliens made you and you're a dumb robot too? Just with flesh?" -- "I never thought of it like that..!" UNTAPPED SCIFI POTENTIAL!
The final scene of the xenomorph chewing its way out of the engineer. Xenomorphs?! Here?! (I had a great audience by the way! after this scene, the guy next to me whispered to his girlfriend: "It's an Alien from Aliens vs. Predator." On the walk out, guys behind me: "So that was a prequel to Aliens vs Predator? Whoa!")
Need I even go into the absurdity of the 5 minute c-section after which she's able to run around the ship? Oh, right, that's covered by the fact that it's a super-expensive laboratory pod.
*Sigh* ... So, final impressions. Was it terrible? No, not really. Would have been a pretty standard movie if it were a standalone scifi. But it's not. It is inevitably going to be compared and contrasted with the quality of the rest of the franchise. So then, was it embarrassing, and a letdown for any Alien fans expecting something significant enough to warrant a return to the franchise? Yes.
Oh yeah, and spoiling the climax of the film in your movie poster? Nice fucking job.