I've stumbled through the past two days and realized in the end that it hurt more than I expected. I've been distracted and inattentive at work and home. I didn't sleep for about 36 hours after the news. My wife insisted I take a sleeping pill and eventually that won. I've had several tragedies in my life. Most of these—the death of a loved one, being laid off while starting a family, having death dangled right in front of me—were more destructive and traumatizing than Miura's passing. Having survived those and more and never truly facing depression, I consider myself emotionally solid. But there's something unique about this. It's a knife that cuts differently. Because even though it's someone who I didn't know, I followed everything they wrote to the letter. Miura was the one consistent voice that has lifted me up every few months and kept me coming back for more. I feel like I've made my peace with his death. But now I'm facing a wide open road, and I don't know what to do.